Good Guy or Bad Guy?

[mlbrokish]

It is likely that most people think they are doing the right thing, either ethically or morally or just being friendly; and therefore, they'd probably consider themselves as "the good guy". 

But what happens when you find out that through your words or actions, although unintentional, you became "the bad guy" in someone's mind. Either for just that situation, or perhaps their general impression of your character. 

What do you do when you find out you have caused ill feelings or hurt upon another, especially when you had good intentions?

[marvelloustime]

I think you’ll get a lot of replies to this as I think we’ve probably all been in that position.

We’re never going to get it right every time, even when we have the best of intentions.

I would say that when experiencing that painful situation, remember it’s what Jesus thinks of you and not other people. He was also known by some as the “bad guy”, as He certainly wasn’t interested in being a people pleaser, but was interested in pleasing His Father and Him only.

We must do the same. 

God bless,

Becky. X 

[Aimes]

I ditto what MaryJayne said - if I'm made aware of it I try to have a conversation regarding it. We can always see things one way in our own mind and others can receive it totally differently, so it's good to discuss and ask forgiveness when necessary. 

[mlbrokish]

I am usually pretty careful about what I say to others, probably because I tend to try to see things from their point of view when discussing things.  When I do hurt others' feelings I apologize and try to make amends.  I know now, after becoming more prayerful, that I can talk with Jesus about it and that certainly gives the security of his grace, love, and faithfulness.

[Neighbor]

3 hours ago, mlbrokish said:

What do you do when you find out you have caused ill feelings or hurt upon another, especially when you had good intentions?

I simply do not worry myself about such things. I live in the moment. My good intentions matter not, credit for good by and to whom matters not.

More can be done when one lets other others get credit, than if one worries about what is thought about themselves. 

[mlbrokish]

1 hour ago, Neighbor said:

I simply do not worry myself about such things. I live in the moment. My good intentions matter not, credit for good by and to whom matters not.

More can be done when one lets other others get credit, than if one worries about what is thought about themselves. 

I am not clearly understanding your point of view, as I wonder if you are leaning toward someone having selfish intentions. I'm not sure exactly if you are meaning a specific set of circumstances...  ??

Hypothetically, If I were to do a good deed for a neighbor, but it backfired and something bad happened and they were offended or upset about it, then I would apologize for causing bad feelings.  If they weren't gracious enough to forgive, I would accept it and move on -- knowing that I did what I thought was right initially, even though the result was negative and they thought bad of me.

example: If I grabbed my neighbor's trash containers that were blowing away during a storm, and I put them into their garage (assuming unlocked) but their pet dog ran out of the garage door when opened and got lost or was killed in the street by a car... good intentions, bad results.

[BeauJangles]

5 hours ago, mlbrokish said:

What do you do when you find out you have caused ill feelings or hurt upon another, especially when you had good intentions?

Attempting to make amends in whatever way possible is preferred. Apologies are sometimes not received right away, and I find that frustrating. Continual prayers are the best solution when ill feelings arise. But it troubles me greatly when situations don't ever seem to get resolved. It's just a really bad situation all the way around.  

Edited August 30, 2019 by BeauJangles

[Jubilea]

5 hours ago, mlbrokish said:

But what happens when you find out that through your words or actions, although unintentional, you became "the bad guy" in someone's mind. Either for just that situation, or perhaps their general impression of your character. 

@marvelloustime is right. We are human beings, and sometimes awkward things happen between us. Personalities are different so it's best to pray and ask the LORD for wisdom and discernment in how to or even if you should attempt to address it. When I'm in an awkward situation with people, I usually pray and ask the LORD to untangle the misunderstanding and give me an opportunity to resolve the issue. Then I wait and watch . . . and it's amazing how often the LORD will work things in a way that brings resolution in a very natural but unexpected way. This actually happened to me just a couple of days ago.  

[Blood Bought 1953]

8 hours ago, mlbrokish said:

It is likely that most people think they are doing the right thing, either ethically or morally or just being friendly; and therefore, they'd probably consider themselves as "the good guy". 

But what happens when you find out that through your words or actions, although unintentional, you became "the bad guy" in someone's mind. Either for just that situation, or perhaps their general impression of your character. 

What do you do when you find out you have caused ill feelings or hurt upon another, especially when you had good intentions?

 

Usually said in jest,  nevertheless, there’s lots of  truth to it ....... “No good deed goes unpunished”.

[missmuffet]

10 hours ago, mlbrokish said:

It is likely that most people think they are doing the right thing, either ethically or morally or just being friendly; and therefore, they'd probably consider themselves as "the good guy". 

But what happens when you find out that through your words or actions, although unintentional, you became "the bad guy" in someone's mind. Either for just that situation, or perhaps their general impression of your character. 

What do you do when you find out you have caused ill feelings or hurt upon another, especially when you had good intentions?

I would approach them and ask if they had any animosities towards me and why. I would ask myself if my conscience is bothering me because I feel like I did something unkind to that person. If the person says there is nothing wrong there is really nothing you can do about it. I would pray and ask God to search my heart.