Thewhitedove Posted January 29, 2020 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 29, 2020 I spoke to the porter in a public place and asked for my mail, but he refused to give it to me. I then walked away. I was with my four year old so didn't want anything to escalate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tzephanyahu Posted January 29, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 69 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,625 Content Per Day: 0.79 Reputation: 2,033 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/10/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 29, 2020 41 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: I spoke to the porter in a public place and asked for my mail, but he refused to give it to me. I then walked away. I was with my four year old so didn't want anything to escalate. :O Unbelievable behaviour! What's wrong with him I wonder... You said you are living in a foreign country so maybe it's an issue of racism? You done well to leave it there. Although I guess it has set a new precedent for him to stick by. @appy gave some great advice about having the mail diverted to a post box or post office. It's a real pain but hey, at least you get your mail. Perhaps the Lord is seeing how you react to this man, who is effective a stimulus to test your patience, peace, and long-suffering. So, just in case it is a test or training, remember to keep hold of your tongue when talking about him and don't sin in your heart, which is a temptation when dealing with such difficult people. But you have done well in this particular interaction. Remember to continue to pray to the Most High each day on this situation. You'll be surprised how he can turn around a situation like this when there is seemingly no "out". Love & Shalom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lulu Posted January 29, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,271 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 2,289 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/19/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 29, 2020 Praying for you and this situation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted January 29, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,281 Content Per Day: 7.99 Reputation: 21,501 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted January 29, 2020 20 hours ago, Thewhitedove said: What exactly do you think God might be calling me to do in this situation??? Does how matter so much as in comparison to Who is calling? You have Hebrews 11 to understand the faith that is required of you by God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted January 29, 2020 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,992 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,690 Content Per Day: 11.78 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 29, 2020 8 hours ago, Thewhitedove said: I'm sorry for the terrible title. Where I live, every apartment block has a porter: the person who signs for mail, sorts out any building problems and is generally a point of contact in the building. Ours has a bad reputation. He is unpleasant, 'pernickety', moody and I have heard him losing his temper several times (he lives in our apartment block). Last year, there was a bit if a 'me too' movement in our building, where several female residents came forward with allegations of sexual harassment. One was my friend, who has now moved, who was touched inappropriately in the basement by this man. I dont know the nature of the other allegations, but I believe my friend. All if these women have since moved, but nothing was done to the porter. Last week, he assaulted my husband (or tried to). My husband blocked his punches so received no injuries, but is shaken. The incident has been reported to the building owners and the police, but nothing has been done. He is still working in our apartment block, and I do not know how to proceed as a Christian. I just don't know how to act around him. I would prefer to ignore him, but I need to get my mail from him. I don't know what to do! I know we are to love our enemies, but what does that look like in reality? I am a very timid person and get intimidated very easily, so the thought of having to converse with this man to get my mail etc is making me anxious. Please can I have prayers for our situation? Can someone advise how to proceed? I want to honour God but don't know how. We live in a foreign country which makes things a bit more difficult. Our employers sorted out our accommodation and have taken no responsibility. Please help. First of all I would give it to God. This person has to have a boss. I would find out who that is and place a grievance. I understand that it is very different than living in the U.S. like I do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted January 30, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,247 Content Per Day: 3.32 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted January 30, 2020 13 hours ago, appy said: enoob, just for clarification. Are you suggesting that the original poster who is a woman, put herself in physical contact with a man, that has allegedly, sexually assaulted another woman, causing her to move out of the apartment complex and then physically assaulted the original poster's husband in an altercation. She has a right to fear for her safety. I didn't say not to pray for the offender, by all means pray that he experiences repentance and salvation. Sometimes when we abandon our concern for ourself and trust God to take care of us and give us wisdom in the midst of it, we can more clearly hear and follow His instruction. We are not to be overcome with fear. We are filled again with His Spirit and with boldness and proclaim the words to say that he needs to hear. I have experienced that several times. There is a time to turn the other cheek and a time to take a stand in God's authority. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heybro Posted January 30, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 19 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,360 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 2,139 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/03/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 30, 2020 Thewhitedove, your situation is not a good one to be in, I feel for both you and your husband. With your husband already in a physical stand off with this character, I don't know how he will go fronting him to get your mail, if this man holds resentment toward your husband. Good advice from Tzephanyahu, tell your employers. It may well be that this character is either a "family relation, or friend" of the apartment owners, and as such, has not been dealt with, let alone dismissed. All the more reason it's far better not to employ family or friends because of this very problem. This may or may not help in the current situation, what I have just raised, but the best advice has already been given, and that is to pray, commit it to The Lord and "stand still, and see the salvation of God" in this matter, God bless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted January 30, 2020 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,218 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,940 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted January 30, 2020 23 hours ago, Thewhitedove said: Our employers sorted out our accommodation and have taken no responsibility. then you have to do it yourself... We have classes at our YMCA to handle things like this.... It's called "Kick Boxing" and I can assure you that after a year of that class the guy would only touch you once.... He might just leave your mail in the floor in front of your door. I can't figure out why they still call it the YMCA when about half of the members are women.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billiards Ball Posted January 30, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,502 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 662 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/05/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 30, 2020 On 1/29/2020 at 5:51 AM, Thewhitedove said: I'm sorry for the terrible title. Where I live, every apartment block has a porter: the person who signs for mail, sorts out any building problems and is generally a point of contact in the building. Ours has a bad reputation. He is unpleasant, 'pernickety', moody and I have heard him losing his temper several times (he lives in our apartment block). Last year, there was a bit if a 'me too' movement in our building, where several female residents came forward with allegations of sexual harassment. One was my friend, who has now moved, who was touched inappropriately in the basement by this man. I dont know the nature of the other allegations, but I believe my friend. All if these women have since moved, but nothing was done to the porter. Last week, he assaulted my husband (or tried to). My husband blocked his punches so received no injuries, but is shaken. The incident has been reported to the building owners and the police, but nothing has been done. He is still working in our apartment block, and I do not know how to proceed as a Christian. I just don't know how to act around him. I would prefer to ignore him, but I need to get my mail from him. I don't know what to do! I know we are to love our enemies, but what does that look like in reality? I am a very timid person and get intimidated very easily, so the thought of having to converse with this man to get my mail etc is making me anxious. Please can I have prayers for our situation? Can someone advise how to proceed? I want to honour God but don't know how. We live in a foreign country which makes things a bit more difficult. Our employers sorted out our accommodation and have taken no responsibility. Please help. Every single time you see him, tell him in a loud, cheery voice, "HELLO! JESUS LOVES YOU! CHEERS!" That'll fix his wagon, and keep you from sexually assaulting you or assaulting your husband! The NAME is a strong tower. PRAY UNDER IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonerAndy Posted January 30, 2020 Group: Senior Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 693 Content Per Day: 0.42 Reputation: 396 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/28/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 30, 2020 On 1/29/2020 at 5:51 AM, Thewhitedove said: I'm sorry for the terrible title. Where I live, every apartment block has a porter: the person who signs for mail, sorts out any building problems and is generally a point of contact in the building. Ours has a bad reputation. He is unpleasant, 'pernickety', moody and I have heard him losing his temper several times (he lives in our apartment block). Last year, there was a bit if a 'me too' movement in our building, where several female residents came forward with allegations of sexual harassment. One was my friend, who has now moved, who was touched inappropriately in the basement by this man. I dont know the nature of the other allegations, but I believe my friend. All if these women have since moved, but nothing was done to the porter. Last week, he assaulted my husband (or tried to). My husband blocked his punches so received no injuries, but is shaken. The incident has been reported to the building owners and the police, but nothing has been done. He is still working in our apartment block, and I do not know how to proceed as a Christian. I just don't know how to act around him. I would prefer to ignore him, but I need to get my mail from him. I don't know what to do! I know we are to love our enemies, but what does that look like in reality? I am a very timid person and get intimidated very easily, so the thought of having to converse with this man to get my mail etc is making me anxious. Please can I have prayers for our situation? Can someone advise how to proceed? I want to honour God but don't know how. We live in a foreign country which makes things a bit more difficult. Our employers sorted out our accommodation and have taken no responsibility. Please help. There is no specific "You must do X" solution. There is no "this is the choice a Christian must make". We are called to be wise, and seek counsel (which you are doing), but counsel doesn't mean someone tells you what to do. It means we can give you advice, and then you have decide what is best for you to do. So there are a couple of solutions. 1. Ignore him. This is generally what I practice. I live in a condo, and sometimes my neighbors are not pleasant. So I simply ignore them. I don't cause any problems. I've had neighbors that played some crazy Mexican music at 2 AM. I simply ignored it. Had some that smoked outside my window. I simply closed the window. Had some that wanted to party late into the night. I simply ignored it. Why cause a problem? Why make a confrontation? Live at peace with all people. 2. However, if the other person is causing a problem, then you have to confront, or you have to leave. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from damaging people. Sometimes you have to put boundaries in place, to protect you and your family. Being a Christian, does not mean that you allow people to walk over you. If the other person is causing harm, then you need to confront or leave. Moving out seems like the best option. If the other girl is unwilling to confront this abusive man, then the only thing you can do is wait until he does it again, and then press charges with the police. I don't know what your situation is, or what the laws in the country you are in say, but I wager you are stuck until he does something. 3. The last option, and the most difficult, is to try and be a friend to the man, and show the love of G-d. Get ready for a rocky road. And also be careful not to put yourself in a position to be harmed, by trying to be loving. Again, being a Christian does not mean being a doormat. However, sometimes you can kill people with kindness, when G-d blesses your efforts. So those are your options as best I can see. You'll have to determine for yourself, what course of action you should take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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