Social Awkwardness

[LadyKay]

So this happens a lot to me at church and I feel rather awkward about it.  It happen last Sunday. I was having a conversation with a lady when someone she knows and I do not know walks over to us. The lady sees this person and immediately ends our conversation and turns all of her attention on this person who has just walked over to us. The two of them start their own conversation with me left standing there next to them. After a few moments I conclude that the conversation I was having with this lady must be over so I just walk away.  They don't notice as they stand there carrying on their own conversation.  It just makes me feel awkward as I am never sure if I should just stand there or walk away. I would be fine with a new person joining our conversation.  Like introducing me to them that sort of thing. But it is like I am not even there. So I just walk away. Not knowing what else to do.  

[Justin Adams]

Happened to a friend of mine. He said rather loudly: "What am I ?  Chopped liver??"

[Neighbor]

45 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

So this happens a lot to me at church and I feel rather awkward about it.  It happen last Sunday. I was having a conversation with a lady when someone she knows and I do not know walks over to us. The lady sees this person and immediately ends our conversation and turns all of her attention on this person who has just walked over to us. The two of them start their own conversation with me left standing there next to them. After a few moments I conclude that the conversation I was having with this lady must be over so I just walk away.  They don't notice as they stand there carrying on their own conversation.  It just makes me feel awkward as I am never sure if I should just stand there or walk away. I would be fine with a new person joining our conversation.  Like introducing me to them that sort of thing. But it is like I am not even there. So I just walk away. Not knowing what else to do.  

Hi,

 I guess that happens often enough and not just at the end of a church function.

Awkward, sure! Since it is already anyway!!! ;  why not find a way that fits your own personality to say or do this: Step in one step closer, face the person that just entered into  and interrupted the conversation, with;  "Excuse me we were just talking, I was  not through with what I want to learn more about, and am I'm also trying to meet make a friend here at church. I'd like to know you too. What is your name? Are you a regular attender here? Do you participate in welcoming new people into your own circle of worshippers? I'd sure like to get to know some here! And if not you, do you know any  friendly Christians that might be welcoming and ready to invite others into their circle of acquaintances and even perhaps their prayer groups so that I may feel more comfortable in this Christian setting, this church body? I really will like to learn of some. By the way what is your name again? 

[Neighbor]

11 minutes ago, Justin Adams said:

Happened to a friend of mine. He said rather loudly: "What am I ?  Chopped liver??"

That works!  except the person might respond, Yes, you are chopped liver. So I'd say it slightly differently. I might  declare, " I am not chopped liver, do not treat me as such please!" "BTW what is your name?"

p.s. Don't be mousey about doing it.

[lovethelord]

LadyKay,

You felt awkward over this situation because of the rude behavior of this woman. We could say that she should have excused herself to speak to this acquaintance and/or brought you into the conversation and introduced you, but there are people like this everywhere and not just at church. What makes this notable is the fact that it happens at church when everyone should be sensitive, caring, loving to each other's needs. Please know that in all these situations Jesus sees everything. Be yourself, do your best in all situations and we can all learn from the things we ourselves experience and or observe. Also know, that I've also experienced such a behavior from others several times in my life as well.

[marvelloustime]

@LadyKay

Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me a lot as well. I’m much more comfortable in smaller numbers of people, when trying to socialise. I find a bigger social gathering, such as the fellowship after a church service, kind of makes me feel drowned out and a bit insignificant, as you always get the cliques that get together, you also get the flitterers that do what you experienced. They start a conversation with you, then see someone else they know walk by and just start talking to them, whilst you’re just left standing there watching them.

I’ve also had it where I’ve looked round the room and noticed that I’m the only one who isn’t talking to anyone. My get out always used to be offering to volunteer to help out in the kitchen, making the coffees and teas or washing everything up, etc. That way I’m safely away in the kitchen.

There’s also some really good advice here and it’s good to know others have also experienced these awkward situations.

[LadyKay]

So then I am not the only one who felt that it was rude.  I ask about these thing because sometimes I think I am being overly sensitive to things. 

[missmuffet]

3 hours ago, LadyKay said:

So this happens a lot to me at church and I feel rather awkward about it.  It happen last Sunday. I was having a conversation with a lady when someone she knows and I do not know walks over to us. The lady sees this person and immediately ends our conversation and turns all of her attention on this person who has just walked over to us. The two of them start their own conversation with me left standing there next to them. After a few moments I conclude that the conversation I was having with this lady must be over so I just walk away.  They don't notice as they stand there carrying on their own conversation.  It just makes me feel awkward as I am never sure if I should just stand there or walk away. I would be fine with a new person joining our conversation.  Like introducing me to them that sort of thing. But it is like I am not even there. So I just walk away. Not knowing what else to do.  

Yes, it has happened to me. It is rude. It was appropriate for you to walk away. You come across all kinds of people in this world we live in 

[Coliseum]

3 hours ago, LadyKay said:

So this happens a lot to me at church and I feel rather awkward about it.  It happen last Sunday. I was having a conversation with a lady when someone she knows and I do not know walks over to us. The lady sees this person and immediately ends our conversation and turns all of her attention on this person who has just walked over to us. The two of them start their own conversation with me left standing there next to them. After a few moments I conclude that the conversation I was having with this lady must be over so I just walk away.  They don't notice as they stand there carrying on their own conversation.  It just makes me feel awkward as I am never sure if I should just stand there or walk away. I would be fine with a new person joining our conversation.  Like introducing me to them that sort of thing. But it is like I am not even there. So I just walk away. Not knowing what else to do.  

I wouldn't call it social awkwardness; rather it is disturbingly rude, and shows lack of manners. This is a real pet peeve of mine. I have a Thursday night group of guys, but invariably, we show up at different times, and newcomers come unannounced. When they sit beside us, the very first thing I do is let them know what we are talking about so that they can feel welcome in our conversation. I have had what you describe happen to me, and it hurts. Later, I take the person aside and let him know that I felt unwelcome (we are allowed to make our feelings known), and tell him why. Normally, they will ask for forgiveness, or tell me they weren't thinking, and then it's over. We need to be able to come along side our brothers and sisters and be truthful, sharing in love what is on our mind. Otherwise we walk around wounded all the time. Jesus was straight forward with people, and even more so with us. He desires restoration, but before that can happen, we must reveal what is hidden within us.

 

[johnthebaptist]

7 hours ago, LadyKay said:

So this happens a lot to me at church and I feel rather awkward about it.  It happen last Sunday. I was having a conversation with a lady when someone she knows and I do not know walks over to us. The lady sees this person and immediately ends our conversation and turns all of her attention on this person who has just walked over to us. The two of them start their own conversation with me left standing there next to them. After a few moments I conclude that the conversation I was having with this lady must be over so I just walk away.  They don't notice as they stand there carrying on their own conversation.  It just makes me feel awkward as I am never sure if I should just stand there or walk away. I would be fine with a new person joining our conversation.  Like introducing me to them that sort of thing. But it is like I am not even there. So I just walk away. Not knowing what else to do.  

Maybe that is the sort of thing that keeps me from hanging around in the social hall after church is over.