Seeking Guidance on Common Law Marriage

[Justin Adams]

8 minutes ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

I will. Thank you.

There have been some very good comments here on both sides.

I want to reiterate that Salvation is NEVER anything to do with our merit, but is TOTALLY dependant on the Grace of Yeshua/Jesus.

There is nothing we can do to merit this salvation, therefore there is nothing we can do to lose it so LONG as we have Believing Loyalty to the ONE that SAVES.

God is not surprised by our complicated lives. He brings Compassion and Acceptance. After we are saved, it is His business to sanctify us and mold us to be as He wants - He will NOT violate our free will because He made us IMAGERS of Himself. Made to be like Him in most respects. This sanctification process may take a lifetime. But the Lord High God has all the time He needs.

[kwikphilly]

7 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Am I missing something or did you just define marriage outside of what scripture describes and at the same time say that scripture would be required to demonstrate otherwise? 

Yes,Never outside of Scripture....what I'm saying is you will not find marriage vows or a ceremonial ritual in Scripture for a "Christian Marriage"or that it need be "officiated" by anyone but God as many churches teach is required

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Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24

t ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

¹⁵ And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

¹⁶ For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.     Malachi 2:14-16

 

The Jewish wedding ceremony and the "Ketubah" or marriage contract, which is read in the original Aramaic language. The husband accepts certain marital responsibilities, such as the provision of food, shelter, and clothing for his wife, and promises to care for her emotional needs as well.

This contract is so important that the marriage ceremony is not complete until the groom signs it and presents it to the bride. This demonstrates that both husband and wife see marriage as more than just a physical and emotional union, but also as a moral and legal commitment.

The Ketubah is also signed by two witnesses and considered a legally binding agreement. It is forbidden for Jewish couples to live together without this document. For Jews, the marriage covenant symbolically represents the covenant between God and his people, Israel.

 Born Again Believers are not bound by the Law of Moses nor do we practice custom or traditions of men-however,we do respect governing authority so we would get a proper license & certificate of marriage according to City or State Laws

Is that a better explanation?

[Willa]

4 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Yes. I wasn't clear. I understand that the bible says christians should not marry unbelievers. But does it say that if they exert their free will and do it anyway, that the marriage doesn't exist?  NO.  IT MEANS THAT YOUR HUSBAND WOULD BE MISERABLE FOR DISOBEYING GOD.    Does the bible also say that christians shouldn't engage in homosexual sex?  IT SAYS ANY SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS SIN AND CALLS IT FORNICATION.  And, if so, does this mean that, if they do, it doesn't count because it doesn't exist?  AGAIN, DISOBEYING GOD MAKES A CHRISTIAN REALLY MISERABLE.  THEY ARE VIOLATING THEIR CONSCIENCE AS WELL AS GOD EVEN THOUGH IT IS PLEASURE. THEY MAY EVEN HATE THEMSELVES. FOR DOING IT. 

The sunrise and sunset displays of the fellowship between light and darkness are a great analogy for our love. YES.  YOU END UP WITH OPPOSITE GOALS IN LIFE AND DESIRING TO GO IN OPPISITE DIRECTIONS. 

um. Are you suggesting that I represent the devil? If so, why are you engaging in conversation with me? IT IS SAYING THAT YOU ARE SO OPPOSITE HIM THAT YOU WON'T HAVE REAL PEACE AND UNITY UNLESS HE COMPROMISES HIS FAITH OR YOU JOIN HIM AS A CHRISTIAN.  I COMPROMISED AND FELL AWAY FROM GOD WHICH WAS AWFUL.  

But christians are also supposed to attempt to live like jesus did, right? Did he not meet them where they lived, feed them, teach them, and heal them?He met them where they lived, fed them, taught them, and healed them (Matthew 9:9-11; Mark 1:33-34; 6:30-42; Luke 5:1-11). YES AND JEWS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT.  BUT JESUS WAS OUR CREATOR WHO BECAUME MAN SO HE COULD UNDERSTAND US AND INTERCEDE ON OUR BEHALF.  HE LOVES US SO MUCH HE DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH FOR OUR SINS.  HE CAME TO DEMONSTRATE FATHER GOD'S LOVE FOR US.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It does help as your words do feel harsh. I think you are saying that you were with a wonderful man and maybe you are also that there were some years when he was not wonderful? When he was the opposite of kind and gentle? YES, WHILE HE WAS FIGHTING BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HE WAS BLAMING ME FOR HIS MISERY FOR THE THINGS HE WAS DOING WRONG AND TAKING IT OUT ON ME. AFTER HE CONVERTED HE HAD REAL PEACE AND SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW WHY HE HADN'T CONVERTED A LONG TIME AGO..  THE FRUIT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVING IN US IS LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENT ENDURANCE, KINDNESS, GENTLE MEAKNESS TOWARD GOD, FAITHFULNESS AND SELF CONTROL. 

I'm benefitting from the conversations that I'm having here, the podcasts that I've been listening to, and the articles that I'm reading. The bible is difficult reading.  A GENUINE CHRISTIAN HAS THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVING IN THEM AND HE HELPS US TO UNDERSTAND AND APPLY THE BIBLE TO OUR LIVES.  I can see why study groups or sermons are necessary and could imagine enjoying spending the rest of my life having these discussions, with my beloved. Maybe, if I continue to ask questions, engage in conversations, and read the bible, God will change me as well and that would be a beautiful thing. But what my beloved is doing feels like the opposite of faith. If he knows Christ is the only way and that Christ has the power to save me, than wouldn't faith look like sharing his experiences with me, instead of trying to control mine? Isn't the effort to control demonstrative of lack of faith? PERHAPS.HE IS DOING HIS BEST TO OBEY GOD BUT IS DESPERATELY DESIREING NOT TO HAVE TO LEAVE YOU.  IT IS TEARING HIM APART.

I disagree. I think patriarchy is the result of the fall, not god's direction for how we are supposed to live.  THAT IS POSSIBLE, BUT OBEYING GOD OR A HUSBAND IS BETTER THAN ANARCHY AND CHAOS. Take a look at this: https://liferotp.com/acblog/2015/8/20/6-the-ezer-kenegdo   

Yes, the feeling of things matters! I wish we had engaged in a ceremony that felt like a marriage before now. There are some really complicated reasons why I can't do so, at this time.  I CAN IMAGANE THAT YOU HAVE SOME BAGGAGE FROM A BAD MARRIAGE.

We were both previously married, he in a christian ceremony, me in a jewish one. But those ceremonies did not result in either of us being one flesh with our previous spouses. Mine resulted in forming the false conclusion that marriage was essentially the bonds of ownership, obligation, and entitlement.  SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT! I did not want to do that to my beloved. I experience our union to be greater than marriage. I have sacrificed more for him than most wives ever will for their husbands, not from a position of obligation but because I was created to serve him.  (I'm not saying that this is my only purpose. But I believe it to be one of the most important ones.)  In his presence, I experience wholeness. I am unable to experience it without him.  THAT IS WONDERFUL AND AS IT SHOULD BE.

I've quite a few rough edges myself ;-) 

My partner has never taken advantage of me. I have only known him to be a man of incredible kindness, integrity and service. He truly is one of my heroes. That's what makes this so hard. If he were a lesser man, I would just be on my way. In so many ways, life would be easier if I did. I'm not one of those insecure women who feels the need to be in relationship with a man or fears being alone. Maybe that's another reason that marriage didn't appeal to me: I'm not interested in obtaining a husband. It is him that I want to be cherished by and to serve.  THAT IS AS IT SHOULD BE AND HE SHOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.

I see this in my beloved and also in some other christians that I know. But some of the ugliest people that see also call themselves christian?   SOME ARE NOT GENUINE CHRISTIANS.  SOME BEOPLE WANT TO BE SAVED FROM HELL BUT DON'T WANT TO BE LED BY GOD AS LORD OF THEIR LIVES EVEN THOUGH GOD ONLY WANTS TO BLESS AND HELP THEM HAVE A GOOD LIFE. OTHERS ONLY PRETEND TO BE ONE BY JOINING A CHURCH BECAUSE IT IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS OR HIS IMAGE.

I will. Thank you.   I HAVE ENJOYED OUR CONVERSATION AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

THE WAY TO BECOMING A CHRISTIAN IS TO TELL GOD YOU ARE SORRY FOR REJECTING HIM;   ASK HIM TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE  AND TO HEAL THE HURTS AND DAMAGE DONE IN THE PAST  BOTH TO YOU AND BY YOU.  ASK HIM TO HELP YOU TO FORGIVE AND TO UNDERSTAND THE BIBLE.  ASK HIM FOR THE DESIRE, THE FAITH AND THE POWER TO FOLLOW HIM.  TELL HIM WHATEVER IS ON YOUR HEART.

 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

Blessings Friend....

   I've addressed a couple of things in more depth on the previous page which was after our initial conversation,you didn't reply& that is okay

I'm sorry. I'm still figuring out how to navigate the forum. I thought I was responding to everyone, in the order that I received responses and that I hadn't skipped any. I will go back. Thanks for jumping back in, in spite of my oversight :-) 

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

   Anyway,I'd like to encourage you to re-read what Brother Behold has said (& perhaps what I've told you regarding this "marriage" ....most of us are saying the same thing & yet you don't seem to see that,that troubles me because you find it encouraging that there is NOT a common consensus...it seems to rub you the wrong way if a Believer tells you something a certain way & you are offended by many things......

 

There have been many times, in this process, when I've felt offended. But I don't think that I'm offended by many things. I think there is really only one thing that offends me. It is when any person claims that their understanding of things is truth and another's is not.  

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

You see,we are ALL telling you there is ONLY ONE WAY to  our Heavenly Father but you say you are offended when a "Christian" says there is only one right way or theirs is the only Truth etc,,,etc,,,,I'm not sure(although I'm getting the picture) of what exactly you are more receptive to because you are easily turned off by this & that.....as I have said,I don't sugar coat but I only hope that you can see there is a common consensus here & that the Word of God is NOT open for interpretation-if that offends you then I am truly sorry but that is what God Says in His Written Word & not me

There is a general consensus here. But how can you say there is no room for interpretation of that word? For example: https://www.deliveredbygrace.com/say-no-more-beth-moore/ and https://liferotp.com/acblog/2015/8/20/6-the-ezer-kenegdo

Both authors are christian. But they interpret god's words differently. 

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

   I can tell you this,right now you are THEE most important person in the entire world to me because you are THE ONE my Lord & Savior Jesus brought here to us.....He Loves you & so do we ,all of us     I'm still  really on the fence about your mate,I only wish he was here talking with us as well.....I'm really glad you are apart & celibate right now & I can only hope & pray that your heart be open to RECEIVE and get the Guidance & Direction you need,it is not an easy thing and I can only imagine the hurt you are going through,I do believe you love this guy & it kinda make me feel angry that he put you in this situation.he must be mad at himself too.....I think my suspicions were right in that he was RELIGIOUS &now that he is coming into a more intimate Relationship with God in Christ he has found himself(& you) in a pickle

Thank you for caring about me and praying.  Please feel grace for my beloved. He did not set-out to put me in this position. I have inadvertently caused much greater suffering in our relationship than he has. 

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

   I'm here to support you ,uplift you,encourage you,pray for you & give you HOPE.....I think,I know,you are being Called by Jesus& this may all have a wonderful ending(beginning really).....

Thank you <3

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

Please re-read Beholds replies & mine in regards to Biblical Marriage.....remember,it is a Covenant between man,woman & God,,a Sanctified Union of 2 Believers .....or not a Marriage(in Gods Eyes) yes,one flesh but that does not constitute COVENANT  

Promises were made, not just with words, but also through incredible sacrifice. We agreed and lived in the belief that god intended us for one another.  There was no grey area. It wasn't something that sprang from me that he went along with. He committed to me long before I committed to him. Time and again, he told me, and I believed (and still do)  that we (not man and woman but he and I) were created for one another, that we knew each other before we were born of this life and that we would be together when this life ended. God is everywhere. God was there when we made that covenant, not once but hundreds of times. 

On 4/22/2020 at 4:23 AM, kwikphilly said:

 

    Please pray,we are all praying with you.....maybe all this has happened to bring you to the foot of the cross                                             

Thank you so much. I'm praying. So far, nothing. But I bet you noticed that I'm rather stubborn so I'll keep at it. <3 

[Coliseum]

25 minutes ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

There is a general consensus here. But how can you say there is no room for interpretation of that word? For example: https://www.deliveredbygrace.com/say-no-more-beth-moore/ and https://liferotp.com/acblog/2015/8/20/6-the-ezer-kenegdo

Both authors are christian. But they interpret god's words differently. 

That is the essence of the problem. Many are indeed Christian---Bible-believing Christians that are truly born again as Jesus describes in his Word. Others who claim they are Christian share based upon what they choose to believe is Christian. There are many cultural Christians, but far fewer spiritual Christians. God says, "Many are called but few are chosen."

Until you are born again, The Word of God says the following: "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."  1 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)

This is the unbeliever's plight. He reads the Scriptures but cannot rightly divide them because he does not have the Holy Spirit indwelling him. Without the Holy Spirit inside the heart of the believer, he cannot much of the time see the Scriptures as they were intended to be seen. The Word of God is meant to be offensive. The world is opposed to God. That is why it crucified Christ. Take a listen to what Jesus himself was saying:

¹⁰  The disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"
¹¹  He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.
¹²  Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.
¹³  This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
¹⁴  In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: "'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵  For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'
¹⁶  But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
¹⁷  For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.
Matthew 13:10-17 (NIV)

If when you pray to Jesus to see and hear him, you must believe by faith that that is what is taking place. "I say to you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you have received it and it will be yours." 

 

[Blood Bought 1953]

41 minutes ago, Coliseum said:

That is the essence of the problem. Many are indeed Christian---Bible-believing Christians that are truly born again as Jesus describes in his Word. Others who claim they are Christian share based upon what they choose to believe is Christian. There are many cultural Christians, but far fewer spiritual Christians. God says, "Many are called but few are chosen."

Until you are born again, The Word of God says the following: "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."  1 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)

This is the unbeliever's plight. He reads the Scriptures but cannot rightly divide them because he does not have the Holy Spirit indwelling him. Without the Holy Spirit inside the heart of the believer, he cannot much of the time see the Scriptures as they were intended to be seen. The Word of God is meant to be offensive. The world is opposed to God. That is why it crucified Christ. Take a listen to what Jesus himself was saying:

¹⁰  The disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"
¹¹  He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.
¹²  Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.
¹³  This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
¹⁴  In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: "'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
¹⁵  For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'
¹⁶  But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
¹⁷  For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.
Matthew 13:10-17 (NIV)

If when you pray to Jesus to see and hear him, you must believe by faith that that is what is taking place. "I say to you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe you have received it and it will be yours." 

 

 

Amazing.....I was just preparing to start a new thread .....one of my favorite Teachers ( Les Feldick) made the statement that “ The Bible is a closed Book for those who do not have the Holy Spirit in them.”  I was going to share and expand on that Truth.....Thanks for giving me the chance to save some valuable computer ink.....lol...

Edited April 23, 2020 by Blood Bought 1953

[kwikphilly]

14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Thank you so much. I'm praying. So far, nothing. But I bet you noticed that I'm rather stubborn so I'll keep at it. <3 

Naaah,you? LOL   But seriously,its my pleasure & I will continue to keep you in my prayers & heart.....yesmkeep at it by all means,that stubborness will serve well!!

14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

I'm sorry. I'm still figuring out how to navigate the forum. I thought I was responding to everyone, in the order that I received responses and that I hadn't skipped any. I will go back. Thanks for jumping back in, in spite of my oversight

No worries,you're doing great in responding to so many people......I truly appreciate your attention,honesty & courtesy

14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Thank you for caring about me and praying.  Please feel grace for my beloved. He did not set-out to put me in this position. I have inadvertently caused much greater suffering in our relationship than he has. 

Can't help to feel for you,I thank Jesus for itI do feel Grace for your beloved,what makes me angry is what had happened,it is not his fault you(both) are in this position-he didn't know better before he grew in Relationship with our Lord......

14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

we would be together when this life ended. God is everywhere. God was there when we made that covenant, not once but hundreds of times. 

So really then,what is the problem?This marriage is a Covenant ,now your beloved longs for you to know Jesus.....this is a very tough predictament......this requires exactly what both you & your beloved are doing,seeking Gods Will...He is the ONE & only ONE that can Guide & Lead you both....I believe this in my heart and as I said,I am here for you with support & encouragement.....I have complete Faith &Trust in God that if you seek Him with all your heart ,soul & mind He Will Reveal Himself to you in His Word in Spirit & in Truth.....even if you don't like or expect WHO you will find

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14 hours ago, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

There is a general consensus here. But how can you say there is no room for interpretation of that word? For example: https://www.deliveredbygrace.com/say-no-more-beth-moore/ and https://liferotp.com/acblog/2015/8/20/6-the-ezer-kenegdo

Both authors are christian. But they interpret god's words differently. 

Honestly,there is nothing I could add to what Brother @Coliseum has said in response ....no Born Again Believer could disagree

  I really wish I could do more to help but only God Can do this for you both,I do know your mates struggle and no doubt yours is just as difficult-I was married to someone who claimed they were Christian but did not follow Christ and by his fruits it was obvious he did not Know Jesus ,I prayed & prayed& prayed for his  Salvation and the softening of his his heart to Receive Gods Word & then God Gave me the Answer I didn't expect.....I was praying for the wrong thing,I had to leave him and continue on my journey with Christ.....after which I Received Peace that surpasses all Understanding......                      With love-inChrist,Kwik

  

Edited April 24, 2020 by kwikphilly

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/22/2020 at 7:11 AM, Billiards Ball said:

If he wants you to become born again prior to marriage, he should keep the relationship with you, but on a chaste basis only. If you are having sex, he is showing a double-mindedness and making it harder for you to take his rededication/conversion seriously.

Biblically speaking, he should end the relationship or continue in a chaste relationship only. You love him, so don't pursue him sexually for fornication, clouding his head and judgment at this challenging time.

Your common-law marriage is not recognized without a ceremony and the legal commitment, biblically speaking.

Thanks. I appreciate your concern. I'm reaching the point where I'm less interested in people's opinions and more interested in engaging in conversation about applicable bible passages. Best wishes. 

[FeministWhoLovesABeliever]

On 4/22/2020 at 12:43 PM, Coliseum said:

Thank you for your long and well thought-out response. I will not judge you or tell you what you should know or what you shouldn't. That is not my job. It is God's. What I find fascinating in all of your exchanges here is that while you plead your case about what you believe is right or wrong to a man's way of thinking regarding the God of the Bible, you are visiting the Scriptures, and wrestling with them. This is what God wants.

Thank you for not judging me. It feels like I'm getting a lot of that. If God wants people to wrestle with God's word than I am meant for god! I am enjoying reading, contemplating, and wrestling with scripture. I've discovered a wonderful podcast that I'm really enjoying. Engaging in conversation with people who share the beauty and grace of god, listening to the podcast, reading the articles that it leads me to, and being in my beloved's arms bring me closer to Christ. Judgement and professed certainty of the knowledge of god's will repel me from the idea of Christ. Of course, neither of these opposing forces will be responsible for what is ultimately my decision. But to the extent that anyone who is reading this feels called upon by god calls to convert others, perhaps the sharing of my will lead to contemplation of their approach. 

On 4/22/2020 at 12:43 PM, Coliseum said:

In a previous message I shared with you, I recall recounting that God comes to us in our greatest need. We can accept His coming, or reject it. I will not tell a man he must believe. It is his right not to. But I will defend you for at least knowing why you believe what you believe. A Russian soldier thrown into prison for his misdeeds was unwittingly thrown into the same cell with a pastor. The pastor of course asked him if he was a believer. The soldier's answer startled me, and even more so the pastor: "I will believe if I have orders to believe." Tears began to well up in the pastor's eyes. Here was a man who had lost sight of what it was like to think for himself. He was so brain-washed, he left his thinking up to others. This was sad on so many levels. So I applaud your right to choose based upon what you think and believe after your own investigation.

Tears. I am 873 days into my greatest need. The Christianity and the question of marriage are the result of, and intertwined with, other unimaginable family trauma. I am praying. Christ isn't coming to me. 

On 4/22/2020 at 12:43 PM, Coliseum said:

No one likes to hear about the absolute authority of God. It comes from the very, natural, rebellious nature of who we are. No one likes to be told that "this is the way, and that there is no other." No one! Yet we are told it everyday. We are governed by limitations. God told the waves of the sea that they must halt at the shoreline and go no further. He told the stars they can "dance" in the heavens but they had a place where they could not leave. We are restricted on earth not to go 40 MPH in a 25 MPH area. We are told we must maintain six feet between us. We cannot go onto other people's property and take what does not belong to us. We are expected to follow the law---or else. Do you lie? Do you steal? Do you say things behind other people's backs that divide them? Have you thought ill of others? Have you argued, called people names, became angry, hostile or bitter? Why? Because we want what "belongs" to us. We hoist ourselves up upon our own, self-built pedestals to look over others, to look down on them, to be better than they are, to be right---and in some cases even dead right. We have learned to make everything about "me." Self is what is important, though we would be hard-pressed to admit it. This is the human condition. This is us---and God says He will have none of it. Well, now I'm mad, and I protest---because I want what I want.

I understand what you are saying, in part because of my own personal experience with god. There was something that I thought that I could do on my own but could not. God came to me. God gave me strength. I experienced being one with god. She transformed me, not just in that moment. I'm not saying that she isn't also masculine. I believe that she is the same god that my beloved prays to. If if was without god, this would be a very different exercise. Instead of being asked to more fully embrace god, I feel that I'm being asked to deny my cherished and exquisite connection to god. 

The relationship with god that I'm attached to isn't just about me. It is about my calling to the world. If I am made in his image than I am also made in her image. God made me a woman because god wants me to experience god's creation as a woman. 

Perhaps you are speaking, not of my relationship with god or about obvious rules, like gravity, but about the those in the bible? If so, maybe you would consider to listening to episode 45 of faith and feminism so that you can hear, from Christian mouths, why I am right to be skeptical about the bible, as we know it? Or episode 75 to better understand how important my connection to a feminine god is? 

On 4/22/2020 at 12:43 PM, Coliseum said:

If we knew what it truly cost Jesus to die for us, we would think differently perhaps. Imagine you going out of town, on vacation...and so you ask your friend to pick up your mail while you were gone. The next day he sees a bill---a gas bill for $5.00 that he pays for you. When you got back, you may say to him, "Why, thanks Joe." But what if the letter contained an IRS bill for $1,000,000---exceedingly more than you could ever pay, knowing it would land you in prison? What if your friend "Joe" paid it and did not want a cent of it back? Would you not fall down at his feet and shed tears of joy over his unexpected kindness? Would you not want to be there for him? Jesus paid a price no man could ever pay back, and he was willing to do it because he loved us---there was no other reason. He paid a price that took from us what we deserved so that we might have what he deserved. Would I not be willing to fall down at his feet and worship a God who did not think of Himself even once---but it was "because of the joy set before him to do this for us."

Yes. I am starting to see and appreciate what Christ did for us.  I think that I could find deep and personal love for him, if he didn't require that I judge other religions to be wrong and to accept that their followers should be destined for hell.  I love god's creation too much to stay silent while he destroys it. I see that the bible represents Christ as someone who did not think of himself even once. But are you sure that you can say the same about God? Because, to me, the bible appears to portray him as the opposite. 

[ForHisGlory37]

On 4/19/2020 at 8:46 PM, FeministWhoLovesABeliever said:

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I understand and agree that my becoming christian would be the ideal solution for this situation. I read the bible, prayed, consulted with two pastors, read quite a few christian websites and also listened to podcasts.  Jesus does not call me. 

I am grateful that my husband has Christ. When he prays for me, I experience profound peace. I don't want to do anything to compromise or harm his relationship with God.  On the contrary, I recognize that it serves both of us and want to support it. Though the misogyny bothers me, the verse, "for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior" best describes how I feel being with my him. When we are together, it is as if the left side of my brain (masculine,  analytical, linear thinking) downshifts and the right side (intuition, imagination, love) is set free in a way that cannot happen without his presence. 

We both have grown children from previous marriages. We will not have more together. So that is not a concern. 

My husband has the same confusion about the status of our relationship that I do. He wants to wait for me to find Jesus. But I don't think that will happen. 

Perhaps I need to provide a little more context. He was in jail for a year and then suddenly released a week before trial because the charges against him fell apart.  (I feel really vulnerable disclosing this. Before the nightmare we naively believed that being good people and following laws would prevent such things. They don't.)  He was Christian before incarceration but came out if it with the need to make me into one.  

Hi Feminist!  Welcome to Worthy!  I believe and trust the Lord for His best plans for you and your husband.  The Lord is doing an amazing work in your husband.  The jail time drew him closer to the Lord I believe. 

You seem to have a pretty good grasp of the Scriptures, I pray that the Holy Spirit will also open your spiritual eyes to the truth.  God is Spirit and we cannot come to Him with our carnal fleshy mind.  We need to be reborn again in the Spirit.  I can't post videos directly here but I can give you titles.  I believe testimonies of the work of the Lord and His Spirit would help you.  When believers share their testimonies, it is powerful. 

Here is the title on a Youtube video.... I Couldn't Believe In the Bible- Hanmaum Church

They have subtitles.  You will find powerful testimonies of the work of Jesus... He is still alive today, He is still at work today.  Feminist, I thank the Lord for your open heart.  You husband must love you dearly for wanting to wait for you!  That is precious in the Lord's sight.  He truly loves you like he loves his own body...  I pray that you would have a real encounter with the Living God.  You are beloved. 

blessings!  :D