Scared because I haven’t been living right and I don’t know how to surrender my heart to God.

[Caitlin _]

I think I’ve been living in ungodliness and didn’t realise it.

I don’t think I was living to honour God. 
 

This is the video I watched:-

Because I think I was living to honour myself and not God
 

I’m worried incase I used Gods grace as a lisence tk sin because I’ve complained a lot

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 

The video I watched says that some Christians have their hearts surrendered to Jesus and they still struggle sometimes and then there’s their people who are ungodly and aren’t living to honour God but to themselves

I’m scared so I am. I’ve complained in my head so much like every day and I spend all day on my phone and I didn’t think about living to honour God. I didn’t even think. 

The video said that some have the show of a Christian but it ungodly and fellowship with Christians. 
I fellowship with Christians online and I quote scriptures all the time and think about God. But I haven’t been living to honour Him. The video also said people twist the gospel to fit their own flesh. I have been angry in my head and complained in my head and lay in my bed all day. I haven’t really been acting the godliest and because of ocd thoghts always running through my head I find it hard to talk trying to tame my thoughts every second and sometimes I speak in a non gentle way and it looks really rude. 
 

I don’t think I’ve been serving God. Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 
 

I go on my phone all day every day and stay in my bed all day and barley leave my room because idk what else to do. I have nowhere to go nothing to do.

 

I have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

 

would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
 

I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Hin and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
 

I don’t know what Gods will is.

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 
please help 

 

thank you for reading ?

Edited January 31, 2021 by Alive
deleted video

[Alive]

Hello there---videos are only allowed in that area of the forum, so I deleted it.

Dear one--God is not offended at your honesty. You can go to Him with this.

We all go through struggling seasons and those times pass.

God is not angry with you--when He looks at you, He sees the Righteousness of Christ. When you confess your sin, He covers it with the blood of Christ and makes it as though there is none.

This is His Grace and Mercy toward you. Trust Him. He loves you more than you can imagine and it never fails...ever.

Here are a couple verses to ponder.

Heb. 4:16 (NKJVS) Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

[johnthebaptist]

45 minutes ago, Caitlin _ said:

I think I’ve been living in ungodliness and didn’t realise it.

I don’t think I was living to honour God. 
 

This is the video I watched:-

Because I think I was living to honour myself and not God
 

I’m worried incase I used Gods grace as a lisence tk sin because I’ve complained a lot

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 

The video I watched says that some Christians have their hearts surrendered to Jesus and they still struggle sometimes and then there’s their people who are ungodly and aren’t living to honour God but to themselves

I’m scared so I am. I’ve complained in my head so much like every day and I spend all day on my phone and I didn’t think about living to honour God. I didn’t even think. 

The video said that some have the show of a Christian but it ungodly and fellowship with Christians. 
I fellowship with Christians online and I quote scriptures all the time and think about God. But I haven’t been living to honour Him. The video also said people twist the gospel to fit their own flesh. I have been angry in my head and complained in my head and lay in my bed all day. I haven’t really been acting the godliest and because of ocd thoghts always running through my head I find it hard to talk trying to tame my thoughts every second and sometimes I speak in a non gentle way and it looks really rude. 
 

I don’t think I’ve been serving God. Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 
 

I go on my phone all day every day and stay in my bed all day and barley leave my room because idk what else to do. I have nowhere to go nothing to do.

 

I have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

 

would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
 

I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Hin and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
 

I don’t know what Gods will is.

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 
please help 

 

thank you for reading ?

Several things ran through my mind as I was reading your post.

You say you have nothing to do. That could be a problem because it seems to me a person needs something to do, so as to have things with which to occupy one's mind.

Perhaps you should seek professional help, if you haven't already.

One of the most useful things in the Bible that I know of comes from one of Paul's letters: Pray constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I think you need to do that. It might help you overcome your fear of Jesus, and it might help out in a lot of other ways.

[R. Hartono]

Did God ask u too much but obeying His commandments ?

[Who me]

18 hours ago, Caitlin _ said:

have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

Please use your phone to follow this link:-https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/25-tips-for-ocd-treatment/

It has very helpful section on coping with intrusive thoughts, so please do read it.

You are bored, have nothing to look forward to or challenge you.

Are you old enough to get a job or to volunteer to help charities?

 

If you are start seeking to find a job or place where you can help. Are there food banks in need of Packers for example.

 

May I suggest you change your routine. After waking, washing, dressing and breakfast. Get your Bible and a set of Bible reading notes and sit down and read the passage he notes suggest, read what the notes say and follow any suggestions about prayer.

 

Can you go for a walk, if so do that every day.

Give some of your time to looking for work, any job is better than no job.

Spend some time reading Christian blogs, following Christian missionary web sites and praying for what you read.

 

A physical activity that gets you off your phone is to learn a craft, help with food preparation, house cleaning or doing things like jigsaws and other puzzles.

 

Try to do at least one different thing each day.

[JTC]

On 1/31/2021 at 3:35 PM, Caitlin _ said:

1.  would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
 

2.  I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Him and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
 

3.  I don’t know what Gods will is.

4.   I’m scared in case Gods angry at me. 
please help 

Hi Catlin,    I've read many of your posts but I'm answering this one. First is the OCD. I don't have a lot of experience with OCD but I see it in you. I don't know, off the top of my head, if there are meds that really work to stop or at least slow down obsessive thoughts but I can find out. I almost became a doctor when I was young, and people suffering from their own mind was to be my specialty. I also have a best friend who owns a pharmacy, he knows all kinds of things. People with OCD get tortured by their own thoughts, like you are, they can't stop the thoughts, but there are things that can be done. I just hope your parents allow you to get help.

   Congratulations on being a Christian 7 months, it's always hardest in the beginning. I'm a Christian 40 yrs so I know the answers to the 4 questions of yours that I quoted.

1. Yes, Jesus wants you to pray to Him no matter what you feel for Him. Jesus knows you inside and out, and He knows OCD is doing this to you. I don't know you at all but I feel tremendous compassion for you, I'm not better than Jesus. Yes, pray to Him and you are going to get better.

2. Ah Catlin it takes all our lives to do that second question. I'm doing it 40 yrs and I'm only half way there. At 7 months, don't even worry about this. For you it means respect your parents unless they are mean and abusive to you. It means do your homework, even if you have to miss your favorite TV show. If you have siblings, treat them well, especially when they don't deserve it. Always forgive everyone, this is how you pick up your cross and follow Jesus.

3. I'm not sure what God's will is for me neither, but God's will in general is for us to obey Him. The Bible teaches us that, especially in Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, the Psalms, and every where else too. Actually I'm coming to know that God's will for me is to help those that I know how. Today, that's you.

4. Dear sweet Catlin, God's not angry at you. You didn't do the kind of things that makes God angry at us humans. God gets angry at us when we willing and knowingly worship another god in His place. In fact He calls that prostitution. God wants our love, our worship, our prayers, etc. When we give it to another god, that hurts our God but He always warns the people to stop, you are hurting Me. Only when the people or person will not stop does God become angry. He's not angry with you.

   You have to realize all these thoughts and fears you keep getting are due to OCD. It's an illness, like MS which I have. When you start feeling afraid you have to tell yourself, No, I don't believe any of that. I know it's not real, I'm only feeling scared because OCD is doing it to me. It's not real nor true.

  Another thing you don't seem to realize is because of the pandemic everyone has to stay home, for now. Personally, I intend to get the vaccine as soon as it's offered to me. Although with my MS I won't be going out very much anyway. But in my parents generation the plague was Polio. I know I was vaccinated against Polio as a child, you probably were too. It may take 2 more yrs, but we will all go out again whenever we want to, and without masks. You'll see it will happen.

   I'm going to look into meds for OCD for you. It may take a week for me to get an answer. I'd like your permission to send you a PM when I find out. That way I'll know you got the answer too.

  Don't worry so much Catlin, it's all coming from an illness. It isn't real.

[missmuffet]

On 1/31/2021 at 12:35 PM, Caitlin _ said:

I think I’ve been living in ungodliness and didn’t realise it.

I don’t think I was living to honour God. 
 

This is the video I watched:-

Because I think I was living to honour myself and not God
 

I’m worried incase I used Gods grace as a lisence tk sin because I’ve complained a lot

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 

The video I watched says that some Christians have their hearts surrendered to Jesus and they still struggle sometimes and then there’s their people who are ungodly and aren’t living to honour God but to themselves

I’m scared so I am. I’ve complained in my head so much like every day and I spend all day on my phone and I didn’t think about living to honour God. I didn’t even think. 

The video said that some have the show of a Christian but it ungodly and fellowship with Christians. 
I fellowship with Christians online and I quote scriptures all the time and think about God. But I haven’t been living to honour Him. The video also said people twist the gospel to fit their own flesh. I have been angry in my head and complained in my head and lay in my bed all day. I haven’t really been acting the godliest and because of ocd thoghts always running through my head I find it hard to talk trying to tame my thoughts every second and sometimes I speak in a non gentle way and it looks really rude. 
 

I don’t think I’ve been serving God. Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 
 

I go on my phone all day every day and stay in my bed all day and barley leave my room because idk what else to do. I have nowhere to go nothing to do.

 

I have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

 

would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
 

I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Hin and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
 

I don’t know what Gods will is.

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 
please help 

 

thank you for reading ?

Question: "What does it mean to surrender to God?"

Answer: This world is a battleground. Since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:17-19), the world God created has been in conflict with Him (Romans 8:20-22). Satan is called the "god of this world" (2 Corinthians 4:4), and due to Adam’s sin, we are born on his team (Romans 5:12). John Bunyan pictured this conflict in his allegory The Holy War. Prince Emmanuel besieges the city of Mansoul to wrest it from the power of Diabolus. Unfortunately, the citizens of Mansoul are blindly committed to Diabolus and fight against Emmanuel, to their own detriment.

When we reach the age when we can make moral choices, we must choose whether to follow our own sinful inclinations or to seek God (see Joshua 24:15). God promises that when we seek Him with all our hearts, we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). When we find Him, we have a choice to make: do we continue following our own inclinations, or do we surrender to His will?

Surrender is a battle term. It implies giving up all rights to the conqueror. When an opposing army surrenders, they lay down their arms, and the winners take control from then on. Surrendering to God works the same way. God has a plan for our lives, and surrendering to Him means we set aside our own plans and eagerly seek His. The good news is that God’s plan for us is always in our best interest (Jeremiah 29:11), unlike our own plans that often lead to destruction (Proverbs 14:12). Our Lord is a wise and beneficent victor; He conquers us to bless us.

There are different levels of surrender, all of which affect our relationship with God. Initial surrender to the drawing of the Holy Spirit leads to salvation (John 6:44; Acts 2:21). When we let go of our own attempts to earn God’s favor and rely upon the finished work of Jesus Christ on our behalf, we become a child of God (John 1:12; 2 Corinthians 5:21). But there are times of greater surrender during a Christian’s life that bring deeper intimacy with God and greater power in service. The more areas of our lives we surrender to Him, the more room there is for the filling of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we exhibit traits of His character (Galatians 5:22). The more we surrender to God, the more our old self-worshiping nature is replaced with one that resembles Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Romans 6:13 says that God demands that we surrender the totality of our selves; He wants the whole, not a part: “Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.” Jesus said that His followers must deny themselves (Mark 8:34)—another call to surrender.

The goal of the Christian life can be summed up by Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Such a life of surrender is pleasing to God, results in the greatest human fulfillment, and will reap ultimate rewards in heaven (Luke 6:22-23).

https://www.gotquestions.org/surrender-to-God.html

Edited February 3, 2021 by missmuffet

[JTC]

On 1/31/2021 at 3:35 PM, Caitlin _ said:

Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 

Hi Catlin,   First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Secondly, I was both wrong and right in what I said about meds for OCD. There are several meds that are said to work, but there are no meds designed specifically to stop the symptoms of OCD. That's the part I was wrong about. Even so, that doesn't mean the meds used don't work. There are a lot of drugs that work on more than one kind of illness. For example, antihistamines were made to work on severe head colds, or even the flu, but some also work well as a sleeping pill. When I first looked for meds for OCD I found more than I'm finding right now. Oh well, that's google for you. Originally I found a list that included aspirin, although I don't understand how aspirin can help.

     It seems most of the meds listed are SSRIs which are also used for depression. No matter how we look at this you will need some kind of doctor. My first thought is a psychiatrist, but maybe a regular doc can help. Whether the doc is a psychiatrist or not, I'd ask him if he has experience treating OCD, that's more important than his title. That's how the medical field is.
 

   I also found that various forms of talk therapy are considered better than meds, or should be used along with meds. Talk therapy can definitely work because I used it when I was a little older than you.
 

   If you want to see the list of meds, google meds for OCD. I'm sorry if I gave you false hope, I thought we had made more progress in this.
 

    In any case I hope you don't still think God is mad at you, or Jesus doesn't want to hear your prayers, because our God is not like that. Take care of yourself Catlin and I do think a combination of talk therapy, meds and prayers will help you.
 

 JTC

[R. Hartono]

On 2/1/2021 at 3:35 AM, Caitlin _ said:

I think I’ve been living in ungodliness and didn’t realise it.

I don’t think I was living to honour God. 
 

This is the video I watched:-

Because I think I was living to honour myself and not God
 

I’m worried incase I used Gods grace as a lisence tk sin because I’ve complained a lot

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 

The video I watched says that some Christians have their hearts surrendered to Jesus and they still struggle sometimes and then there’s their people who are ungodly and aren’t living to honour God but to themselves

I’m scared so I am. I’ve complained in my head so much like every day and I spend all day on my phone and I didn’t think about living to honour God. I didn’t even think. 

The video said that some have the show of a Christian but it ungodly and fellowship with Christians. 
I fellowship with Christians online and I quote scriptures all the time and think about God. But I haven’t been living to honour Him. The video also said people twist the gospel to fit their own flesh. I have been angry in my head and complained in my head and lay in my bed all day. I haven’t really been acting the godliest and because of ocd thoghts always running through my head I find it hard to talk trying to tame my thoughts every second and sometimes I speak in a non gentle way and it looks really rude. 
 

I don’t think I’ve been serving God. Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 
 

I go on my phone all day every day and stay in my bed all day and barley leave my room because idk what else to do. I have nowhere to go nothing to do.

 

I have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

 

would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
 

I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Hin and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
 

I don’t know what Gods will is.

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 
please help 

 

thank you for reading ?

Just obey God commandment n its good to learn fasting like prophet Daniel, start with vegan food.

[Wesley L]

On 1/31/2021 at 9:35 PM, Caitlin _ said:

I think I’ve been living in ungodliness and didn’t realise it.

I don’t think I was living to honour God. 
 

This is the video I watched:-

Because I think I was living to honour myself and not God
 

I’m worried incase I used Gods grace as a lisence tk sin because I’ve complained a lot

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 

The video I watched says that some Christians have their hearts surrendered to Jesus and they still struggle sometimes and then there’s their people who are ungodly and aren’t living to honour God but to themselves

I’m scared so I am. I’ve complained in my head so much like every day and I spend all day on my phone and I didn’t think about living to honour God. I didn’t even think. 

The video said that some have the show of a Christian but it ungodly and fellowship with Christians. 
I fellowship with Christians online and I quote scriptures all the time and think about God. But I haven’t been living to honour Him. The video also said people twist the gospel to fit their own flesh. I have been angry in my head and complained in my head and lay in my bed all day. I haven’t really been acting the godliest and because of ocd thoghts always running through my head I find it hard to talk trying to tame my thoughts every second and sometimes I speak in a non gentle way and it looks really rude. 
I don’t think I’ve been serving God. Jesus scares me all the time so I find it hard to feel emotion and focus on Him. 
I go on my phone all day every day and stay in my bed all day and barley leave my room because idk what else to do. I have nowhere to go nothing to do.

I have bad OCD  intrusive thoughts so I haven’t prayed to God properly in like 2 weeks. I struggle with unwanted sinful thoughts.

would Jesus even want me to pray to Him if I don’t feel emotion for Him. 
I don’t know how to surrender my heart to Hin and I don’t know how to deny myself or take up my cross and follow Him. 
I don’t know what Gods will is.

I’m scared incase Gods angry at me. 
please help 

thank you for reading ?

Hi Caitlin,

First of all, don't worry about what you can do to please Him.
Nobody can please God by their works alone. The most important thing is FAITH in Jesus Christ alone.
Without Him, we can't do anything right. We all have sinned and fall short to the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

Jesus didn't ask us to have emotions for Him. Jesus asked us to have faith in Him.
So whatever your feelings may be, pray to Him. Ask Him for help, for peace, for certainty, for strength, for wisdom to teach you how to follow Him, how to obey Him.

Why would Jesus want us to pray to Him? Doesn't He know our hearts and thoughts already without us having to pray?
Jesus wants us to pray to Him, so we can surrender ourselves to Him. Put our faith in Him, not ourselves. We need the prayers.

Praying for you. God bless!

 

Edited February 24, 2021 by Wesley L