How do I love an enemy?

[Guest]

We are only human, this is a very hard command. I could do with advice. 

When I was bereaved a few years ago, a certain person in my life showed cold shocking contempt, kicked me further in my pain, loneliness and grief. This was someone who I always assumed that I could trust. I have since rebuilt my life but never forgotten what it felt like to be vulnerable, scared and be treated like that on top. The person and I never spoke again. 

Now I hear that this person has met with great catastrophe. Their marriage has ended due to adultery of their spouse. A sordid affair means divorce, great pain etc. A bereavement really. 

I am being honest here, I do not know how to feel any sympathy for my enemy. My feelings have ranged from numbness to rage over the years, and now I feel it is good that they will know what grief and deep uncertainty and fear for their future feels like. 

I am not proud of this. What shall I pray - which Bible verses will help? 

 

 

 

 

 

[AnOrangeCat]

Treat it less as a feeling and more as an act of choice. You can choose to pray for them despite your feelings, at the very least. Also, the Bible does tell us to love our neighbors as ourselves. So looking at it from that perspective, if you were in their situation what would you ask of God for yourself?

Edited January 11, 2022 by AnOrangeCat

[Jayne]

Pain/betrayal/attacks hurt.  Badly.

My advice, out of experience, is to pray for this person.  Pray for salvation, sanctification, peace, mercy, grace, and a whole lot more.

It will make your disdain for this person decrease.  The pain may not go away, but your bad feelings for them will.  And the bad feelings we feel for our "enemies" harm us more than pain they caused.

I've lived that out.

[Ghostdog]

proverbs 24:17 Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, And let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth.

 

i know this is a very hard verse to live cause ive been there. i wanted to see my enemies fall and be glad when they did. the next verse helped me see that what i was thinking was wrong.

 

Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.

 

God doesnt want us to be thinking about revenge and getting even. i know its hard when things go bad for them and in our heart we say "now you know how i feel/felt" but we must resist those thoughts and instead pray for them no matter how hard it is to. i still struggle with this but i work on it and it does get easier.
 

[Alive]

THere is much good advice and thought being expressed here. I will add to it, how this is in my own journey--where I have experienced a great deal of betrayal and harm intended or not. The Lord has been merciful in keeping me from some of the effects of those things with a simple realization. That is just how very much I need His Grace and Mercy and then being able to extend that to the others. This makes for a love motivated praying for them.

The effects aren't entirely absent, mind you--pain is a part of living and the Lord uses this--often for other's sake.

Though there is profound sadness and mourning, I am not crushed. If not for the Lord, things would be very different.

A brother once said to me recently--how amazing it is that my attitude is such as it is under circumstances.

THAT is what is different with us who are sons of God.

Look to Him. Let go and let God. That is an old saying, but wonderfully valid.

[missmuffet]

I think that is one of the most difficult questions that a Christian can answer. And one of the biggest challenges a 

christian can face. 

1. We need to forgive our enemies with God's help.

2. We need to pray for our enemies and those who have hurt us.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Josheb said:

I've changed the color of my post to separate this one from the ones above. 

I'm going to ask you some questions and post some comments but this portion of the opening post might not be suited for open discourse via the internet, so you might want to take some of this up with God and/or a friend you know and trust to be supportive and truthful, even if it hurts (Pr. 27:6

If you are willing (and let me encourage you to know that you can do this), close your eyes and revisit that painful experience. Memory is always present-tense so you'll feel something of what you felt then but remember that it is only a memory; you are much stronger now. Then, after you have "inhabited" that experience answer two questions. First, ask yourself what would have helped you in that moment? What could someone like ourselves done to meet your need? Second, envision Jesus there with you in that moment providing solace and protection. See him lean in toward you to whisper to you. What does he say? 

 

Then consider how you might do the same for your former enemy. Be the faithful friend. 

2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."

Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV
...for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

 

Or not. 

 

 

Two caveats: First, God expects us to love everyone, but not in the same way. Most (but not all) of the scriptures, especially those New Testament are written about Christians acting toward other Christians, not "outsiders." This op is about loving an enemy, not a faithful friend. Second, do not expect an unregenerate nonbeliever to act like a regenerate, Spirit-indwelt believer, but remember you do have the Spirit of the living God ALMIGHTY living and working within you. He might even be the one prompting this op and the ensuing responses from the members of His Son's body. Although the following was written about the Anointed One, consider how it might apply to you, 

Matthew 12:18-21
“Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.  He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets; a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will hope.”

 

God will not ask for more of you than He has enabled.

 

I remember dark lonely nights of tears, and coldness of those who I should have been able to rely on. I remember phoning this person for help and being rejected. 

Yet I also remember the comfort of Jesus, the warmth and gentle understanding of other widows, new friends. 

I know the Lord helped me every moment while I grieved. 

Edited January 11, 2022 by Melinda12

[ayin jade]

5 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

We are only human, this is a very hard command. I could do with advice. 

When I was bereaved a few years ago, a certain person in my life showed cold shocking contempt, kicked me further in my pain, loneliness and grief. This was someone who I always assumed that I could trust. I have since rebuilt my life but never forgotten what it felt like to be vulnerable, scared and be treated like that on top. The person and I never spoke again. 

Now I hear that this person has met with great catastrophe. Their marriage has ended due to adultery of their spouse. A sordid affair means divorce, great pain etc. A bereavement really. 

I am being honest here, I do not know how to feel any sympathy for my enemy. My feelings have ranged from numbness to rage over the years, and now I feel it is good that they will know what grief and deep uncertainty and fear for their future feels like. 

I am not proud of this. What shall I pray - which Bible verses will help? 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a hard thing to do to love your enemy. You are showing the love of the Lord in wanting to know how to do this, and I applaud you for this. 

Matthew 5: 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you,

Let me share how I dealt with a situation in which it would be very easy to hate someone. Years ago, a man brutally killed my brother in law. My brother in law was a gentle man, a Christian. He was killed by his housemate while he slept. The man was strung out on meth at the time. My husband and I felt so much rage towards this man. I knew the Lord wanted me to love this killer. It was so difficult. There is still pain in my heart over this. But from the beginning I prayed for 2 things: that the Lord save this man and that the Lord soften my hard heart towards this man. I still pray for his salvation when I remember him. Which is fairly often, since my brother in law is often in my thoughts.

Perhaps you can pray for the one who hurt you, and pray that the Lord change your view towards all of it and the one who hurt you.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, ayin jade said:

It is a hard thing to do to love your enemy. You are showing the love of the Lord in wanting to know how to do this, and I applaud you for this. 

Matthew 5: 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you,

Let me share how I dealt with a situation in which it would be very easy to hate someone. Years ago, a man brutally killed my brother in law. My brother in law was a gentle man, a Christian. He was killed by his housemate while he slept. The man was strung out on meth at the time. My husband and I felt so much rage towards this man. I knew the Lord wanted me to love this killer. It was so difficult. There is still pain in my heart over this. But from the beginning I prayed for 2 things: that the Lord save this man and that the Lord soften my hard heart towards this man. I still pray for his salvation when I remember him. Which is fairly often, since my brother in law is often in my thoughts.

Perhaps you can pray for the one who hurt you, and pray that the Lord change your view towards all of it and the one who hurt you.

Wow! You do help put it in perspective. I cannot begin to imagine what you experienced.

[R. Hartono]

To forgive is difficult but its actually our heart that needs to move on from hate.

to make it easier to forgive people, try to pray for the person as God commanded us. otherwise we cannot reach the Godhead of Jesus and remain in prison of arrogancy and vengeance.

We don't fight against flesh and blood. 

Samson defeated one thousand enemies but could not defeat himself ???

All bad people will die and face Fierce hell fire, if its not you to pray for them WHO ELSE ?

Jesus told us to pray, just a prayer actually to pacify our heart and expand our learning abt Godhead.

Edited January 13, 2022 by R. Hartono