how to cope with a past..

[Behold]

3 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

For me my past ( intimiate) past is kind of eating away at me. It makes me uncomfortable and extremely insecure.

Though it may not be as bad as the norm its still enough to affect me. This is one of the main reasons I don't really 

go to church because I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, no one treats me different--everyone is cordial but it's just me in my own head judging myself amongst others. I also try to pursue higher education in hopes my degrees can cover up my mistakes or atleast soften the blow.

 

I really do wish i could erase what I did but I can't-- so how do you deal with it?

You are told to forgive, because you've been forgiven.   Your forgiveness has to include yourself.  You have to forgive yourself.

Have you ever verbally said.......>"i forgive myself".  "i forgive myself of my past mistakes, all sins, and, wrong decisions".???     You need to.

Something else to consider is that God would not want you to live in the past, in your mind, in your head.   He doesn't live there, and you are not to live there.

One of the benefits of Grace, is that we become "new".  And this is how God sees us, and never any other way.

Another benefit of Grace is that God does not remember our past SIN.   None of it... Not ever.   Not today, not tomorrow, and not in Heaven when you go there.

When God thinks about you, when He sees you, He beholds a person who has been washed clean, pure, and whole, in and by the blood of Jesus.

Your eternal status in God's mind, is ....."New Creation in Christ".  = Today, Tomorrow, and Forever.

Ever heard this song... ?    "what can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus"... "what can make me whole again, nothing but the blood of Jesus..."

The born again, in the mind of God ...have no sin, have no past, and have no condemnation, because OF the Blood of Jesus.

Forgiving yourself, is what God wants you to do, needs you to do, and you should do it right now.

The sooner you do it, the sooner you forgive yourself, is how you get out of the mind set you are in, where you have attacking "past thoughts" that are making you feel as you are describing.

God does not remember your past, or your sin, and you are to have the "Mind of Christ", and never live in the past, which allows it to poison your NOW.

God would not have you live one more second feeling poisonous negative feelings because of your memories...

He does not have any of those about you, and you need to recognize that you have to let go of a poison past, as this is robbing you of your present, and its hindering you from being not only what God sees you as, but even moreso, its hindering you from the Joy and purpose "in Christ", that God on the Cross died to provide you.

Forgive yourself.   God already has, and in fact, He does not even remember your past......ever.  This is the lasting effect of the Blood Atonement.

 

 

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Edited August 8, 2019 by Behold

[Willa]

Have you been baptized yet?  That is a step that might help you put the past behind you and help you identify with the body of Christ.  

[Figure of eighty]

1 hour ago, Willa said:

Before you leave, since they have good sermons, it might help to ask the pastor if there is  a woman's group, or if there are other small groups that meet during the week.  Often these small groups are great for mentoring and they can be very compassionate and supportive when they realize that you are earnestly seeking God.  

they have groups but you have to attend regularly for like 4 weeks to join a specific group but if you miss too many days you have to start over.. where I am in my life-- I won't be able to attend regularly to get into a group..so i have to find one that has groups where I can just jump in.

 

I did find a single mom group but i only have one car and going a hundred places makes it difficult especially if Im not putting gas in

I think when I start working I'll try to attend that single mom group.

[Figure of eighty]

40 minutes ago, Willa said:

Have you been baptized yet?  That is a step that might help you put the past behind you and help you identify with the body of Christ.  

Yes, received his spirit too. I just back slide extremely far.

[Figure of eighty]

1 hour ago, JohnD said:

The same way everyone deals with it (including those you are worried about judging you), for we all have past sins we find hard to forgive ourselves for...

Give it to God and trust him that he can take care of it.

You'll drive yourself insane trying to carry these kinds of burdens on your own.

Anyone would.

it really is driving me crazy. Especially when stuff comes back up.

[JohnD]

25 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

it really is driving me crazy. Especially when stuff comes back up.

A wise person once told me... every time the devil reminds you of your past,

remind him of his future.

 

It puts things in perspective. Yes, there were times I literally mouthed the words.

But I also advise caution in "speaking to the devils."

One can find themselves in over their heads p.d.q.

they've been around a lot longer than us.

Some believers have the ministry and calling to do this sort of thing.

Thankfully I do not.

But you get the idea...

 

Edited August 9, 2019 by JohnD

[ayin jade]

46 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

they have groups but you have to attend regularly for like 4 weeks to join a specific group but if you miss too many days you have to start over.. where I am in my life-- I won't be able to attend regularly to get into a group..so i have to find one that has groups where I can just jump in.

 

Wow that is so .... rigid. The churches Ive been to were never like that. You were invited and welcomed even if you only attended once. 

[bropro]

5 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

For me my past ( intimiate) past is kind of eating away at me. It makes me uncomfortable and extremely insecure.

Though it may not be as bad as the norm its still enough to affect me. This is one of the main reasons I don't really 

go to church because I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, no one treats me different--everyone is cordial but it's just me in my own head judging myself amongst others. I also try to pursue higher education in hopes my degrees can cover up my mistakes or atleast soften the blow.

 

I really do wish i could erase what I did but I can't-- so how do you deal with it?

 

What I have learned through the years, is that we are our own worst enemy. I know that has been true for myself. There are at least three areas that I know of where guilt comes from:

                1. Satan

                2. Other people

                3. Myself

If I listen to these sources, I have difficulties too numerous to mention, let alone not being able to experience the complete forgiveness and peace of God. But when I listen to what God has to say in His word, such as:

Micah 7:19 (KJV)
¹⁹  He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.

I have learned that since God has cast all my sin into the depths of the sea, that I need not go fishing for them.

And also:

Philippians 3:13-14 (KJV)
¹³  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
¹⁴  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

The apostle Paul had wasted the churches in the beginning, causing havoc and turmoil, putting many into prison, and even gave his approval to have Stephen put to death. I guess it would be correct to surmise that he had a lot of bad in his past that could have destroyed him, had he kept looking back. If a person keeps looking back at their past, they are unable to make any forward progress and may run into a lot of roadblocks and obstacles.

I used a true story on more than one occasion about my grandmother to illustrate the danger of always looking back, because if you are looking back, you may not be aware of what is in front of you. My grandmother was a talker among all talkers I had ever met in my life. One day she was walking down a street in downtown KC with some friends of hers. As she was walking, she was looking to her left towards her friends, talking as usual, and not paying attention to what was in front of her. And low and behold, there was a light pole in her path. When she run into it, well, the pole did not move. However, my grandmother moved. She moved from an upright position on her feet, to a position on the sidewalk on her back, and was knocked out cold.

The point is, looking back on our past will keep us from seeing who God really is and what He has in store for us. Trust the Lord, that according to His word your sins are forgiven and out of His sight.

Gary

P.S. My grandmother came out of it just fine and resumed her talking.

               

[other one]

5 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

For me my past ( intimiate) past is kind of eating away at me. It makes me uncomfortable and extremely insecure.

Though it may not be as bad as the norm its still enough to affect me. This is one of the main reasons I don't really 

go to church because I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, no one treats me different--everyone is cordial but it's just me in my own head judging myself amongst others. I also try to pursue higher education in hopes my degrees can cover up my mistakes or atleast soften the blow.

 

I really do wish i could erase what I did but I can't-- so how do you deal with it?

The way I have dealt with it is to just open up and tell Jesus what happened and give him no excuses for my actions....    He has told us that he will basically let it go if we come to him and open ourselves up and have him as our Lord....    once you make that decision and place your future in his hands your past is over.

When others bring up the things they know you/I have done I just tell them yes that is true and I took it to Jesus and he dropped the charges and I hope you will do likewise.

I don't know anyone that doesn't have things in their pasts that they would love to have over to do things differently....

I tell myself that when the Devil brings up the past and he does so often that Jesus dropped the charges and he should go away and leave me alone....    when that doesn't work I remind him of his future and mine....

[missmuffet]

5 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

For me my past ( intimiate) past is kind of eating away at me. It makes me uncomfortable and extremely insecure.

Though it may not be as bad as the norm its still enough to affect me. This is one of the main reasons I don't really 

go to church because I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, no one treats me different--everyone is cordial but it's just me in my own head judging myself amongst others. I also try to pursue higher education in hopes my degrees can cover up my mistakes or atleast soften the blow.

 

I really do wish i could erase what I did but I can't-- so how do you deal with it?

You leave he past in the past. To bring up bad experiences in the past is only going to bring on stress, sadness, grief and guilt. It is very hard to do but the best way that God wants you to do is the live in the "NOW" the day you are living. Don't look at the future either. God tells us we have enough to deal with in the day we are on.