Why i left the church

[Wayne222]

No church is perfect yet. Look at the seven churches of revelations.  And the church at corinth. Most Christians take a long time to grow in faith. I guess if there was no churches and no one meant together then there would be no gospel sent. But you said homosexuality is not a sin. Read the bible because it is . 

[appy]

Ever hear the saying. . . It takes one, to know one? There is a lot of truth to this saying. The very things we notice in other people are the same things we dislike about ourselves. The bible says when we do this, we are actually talking about ourselves.

Roman's 2:1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

And a paraphrase of that,

“Well,” you may be saying, “what terrible people you have been talking about!” But wait a minute! You are just as bad. When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are talking about yourselves, for you do these very same things.

Your list of perceived wrongs, sound more like a cop out for not going to church.  Church is a place Christians come together to learn about who God is and what his word says. When you hang out with friends at home or school. That in itself is fellowshipping. You are associating with others that share your interests. People who attend church are indeed sharing an interest. They are fellowshipping. What is the interest? Getting to know God and what his written word has to say.

We aren't perfect, all. . . not some.... but ALL people have sinned; ALL have fallen short of God's glory. Jesus died on the cross because we are NOT perfect. None of us can save ourselves. The common interest of people who are attending church is that they have put their faith in him and are trusting him to help them with their lives. Expecting people to be perfect for you, is putting your faith in man and mankind's abilities. And you will always find disappointment; because mankind can not do for you, what Jesus can do.

Not everyone who attends church is at the same place in their walk as others are. Some are new and as such, are less mature spiritual wise. Everybody has their shortcomings, even you and me. No one is immune. If people were perfect as you are expecting them to be, there would be no need for us to be seeking God's help and salvation.

[Blood Bought 1953]

 

I don’t think the problem is with the “ Babes In Christ” or even “ Carnal Christians” ( which we all are, to some degree) . I believe the problems probably stem from Unsaved Legalists and the Tares who know how to play the game of religion but have not been “ Born Again”......They do not have the Indwelling Holy Spirit— Without which “ You are NONE of His” . It takes an Angel to identify a Tare.They will all be gathered together someday to be cast into Hell.They are sitting in Many pews every Sunday.Probably the ones with the scowls on their faces.

[AnOrangeCat]

Certainly no church is perfect and it can take some time to find one. But I do believe that if we're in a church and we see clear instances of sin then we need to speak out against it and try to correct it in whatever way is appropriate before just writing them all off. In some cases certain behaviors emerge purely because people get settled into a mindset of complacency, like everyone knowing everyone in a small church and getting so used to that state that when someone new comes around it doesn't even register, or a church member in any size church passing someone by because they believe someone else will do it, or thinking the door greeters are sufficient. Things like that can certainly lead to false perceptions of the church's members being unfriendly. A lot of times it isn't intentional. It's just a state people passively slide into over time without giving it any thought. Until someone makes them question that status quo it's likely to continue.

[other one]

17 hours ago, Isaiah90 said:

Just thought i'd give reasons why i left church even though i’m still a practicing Christian. Here’s tons of reasons why i left.

Toxic community - Most people who claim to be Christians aren’t real Christians. They sin behind closed doors committing incest, gossip, adultery, lying, stealing, and other sins. They also manipulate people and make them feel like they’re not good enough. They force people into believing their version of the Truth by threatening them with hellfire and brimstone. If anyone doesn’t agree with their lifestyle, they’ll call them heretics. They often use the Bible to brainwash people into accepting their lifestyles and beliefs. They don't care about living by what the Bible actually teaches. 

Ignorance - Most Christians don’t study the Bible as i learned. They don’t even read it. They just have their Bibles put on shelves to gather dust and only take them out on Sundays for church. They’d rather have the pastor read and interpret the Bible for them. As a result, most Christian authorities take advantage of that and mislead the people. From studying the Bible, i learned most of what Christians teach isn’t true. For example, i learned masturbation and homosexuality aren’t sins. When i teach the real truth about what the Bible actually says, i mostly get hate comments from Christians. Many get angry and upset with me because i told them the truth. They come up with excuses and often deny it.

Pretentious behavior - When i was a teen, i was annoyed at how adults often generalized and pretended to know me. The church would have games, food, drinks, etc. because they assumed i was into that as a teen. I came to church because i was serious about my faith. I wasn’t into joking around and playing games like other teens were. I also couldn’t stand how Christians were pretentious. They’d always try to act as if they had a point to prove in almost everything they did. Even when they said “Amen, God is good” or “yes Lord.” If you’re not that spiritual, don’t act like you are. I had one guy who did all that and lowkey admitted he wasn’t that spiritual.

Immaturity - I dislike the immaturity going on in churches today. Rather than actually focus on spirituality, people would rather focus on creating a pop Christian culture. Christians would make slogans to try to sound hip like “souled out”, t-shirts, their own genres, etc. They’d print t-shirts of their church and wear bandannas for the youth. I have no time for such foolishness that has nothing to do with Jesus lol. It’s sad that the Christian faith is being commercialized like that.

Commercialization - I dislike how Christianity is so commercialized. It’s very corrupt. People create tons of products such as crosses, necklaces, clothing, stickers, toys, games, devotionals, etc. I have a problem with most of it because it’s false advertising. Authors write books promising you that you’ll be blessed through their teachings or testimonies. It’s just for profits. Worse, some are even caught lying about their testimonies.

Christian women - Dating in the Christian community is horrible. I never had much luck dating Christian women because they’re so suppressed and pretentious. They’re very uncomfortable around their sexuality and affection in general. I can understand and respect not wanting to have sex before marriage, but not wanting to kiss too? That’s a bit too far even for me. They’re pretentious because they overspiritualize everything, including relationships. Many say they want to a man who brings them closer to Jesus and don’t express any desire for intimacy. It’s a turn off when a Christian woman doesn’t want to kiss, hug, flirt, etc. me and all she wants is to make it about Jesus. I value Jesus too, but i also value the relationship i have with a woman.

Hypocrisy - I hated the hypocrisy in church. They claim to believe in YHWH, but don’t believe in the Devil or spirits. They try to make the Bible into a philosophy or personal form of spirituality rather than talk about the supernatural. They claim they’re about loving and caring for people, but their actions show otherwise. They’d rather practice their faith behind closed doors rather than get involved in the world’s problems. I realized why so many people are turned off from Christianity. Its because they don’t see Christians living what they preach about. Where’s the Christian community’s support for black lives matter? Holocaust survivors? People living in poverty and homelessness? It does people no good if you do these missions campaigns, but don’t provide for their physical needs too.

Legalism - Many Christians are legalistic. They live by man-made rules. They don’t listen to worldly music, smoke, drink, curse, have pre-marital sex, go to bars, clubs, etc.

Homophobia - Many churches preach so much against homosexuality more than other sins. They have no solid basis for claiming homosexuality is a sin when you study the Scriptures. It all boils down to homophobia and toxic masculinity. In fact, one pastor in my local church told the congregation to vote against same-sex marriage being legalized in my state. 

Sexism - Sexism is very prevalent in churches. Women are seen as lesser than men based on flawed interpretations of the Scriptures. Many women are forbidden from teaching and preaching on the same level as the men. 

Racism - Racism is also very prevalent in the church. Whenever i'd go from church to church, i'd often see majority white or black churches. There was never a church that was all mixed. Christians masked racism well by depicting people in the Scriptures like Jesus as white. For centuries, whites have removed the middle eastern roots of the Scriptures because of prejudices against people of color. They westernized it on so many levels to where people think Christianity is "a white man's religion" when it isn't.      

These are some of the reasons why i left the church. I now only associate with a few Christians who practice what they preach. 

So one church is not a good example of what God wants the church to be and you just turn on them all...…..  none of the things you are saying relate to my church in the least...    Find a Nazarene Church in your area and find some folks that both Love the Lord and Love each other.....   I've never been to one that didn't even in all our travels.

[Isaiah90]

5 hours ago, Blood Bought 1953 said:

 

I don’t think the problem is with the “ Babes In Christ” or even “ Carnal Christians” ( which we all are, to some degree) . I believe the problems probably stem from Unsaved Legalists and the Tares who know how to play the game of religion but have not been “ Born Again”......They do not have the Indwelling Holy Spirit— Without which “ You are NONE of His” . It takes an Angel to identify a Tare.They will all be gathered together someday to be cast into Hell.They are sitting in Many pews every Sunday.Probably the ones with the scowls on their faces.

Exactly, it's not about the "babes in Christ" or "carnal Christians." We're all sinners. The issue is with the attitude and lifestyle that many professing "Christians" live by. If you're not living according to Jesus commandments to love, you're not a real Christian. 

[Blood Bought 1953]

Sorry to have to disagree on this.......If you believe the Gospel That Jesus died for your sins and rose from the dead you are a saved Christian......you may be a good one or a bad one but you ARE one...

[GreyJay]

I left the church for similar reasons in my 20's.

I've come back to it in my 30's because I've come to understand the importance of being the church instead of going to church.

I have to connect with a church now because I just need the support of Christians at this point in my life. We all have different gifts, we're meant to live life as a unit. We need each other. I'm not saying that every church is worth going to. I'm sure some are toxic and absolutely destructive to one another. I look for different things now than I used to, and I interact with the church now differently than I used to. A few points:

- First of all, what even is "the church?" That's kind of a big topic, but at this point in my life, if I said I was "leaving the Church," what that would mean is that I don't want any Christians to be part of my life anymore. I do attend a church on Sunday mornings now, and there are songs sung and sermons heard. There are people I like and don't like there, people I agree with and disagree with. But the people I regard as "my church" is a smaller group of people who get together during the week to just do life together in various ways.

- Hot tip from a Church leaver: look for Churches in low socio-economic areas. I made myself part of a salvation army church in a poor area for a few years. It was refreshing to serve alongside Christians who, really, just kept themselves too busy loving people in need to worry about squabbles with one another or the minutia of theology. They kept it simple, because they didn't have time for anything complicated, and it changed the way I thought about what "the church" is.

- God is in the business of reconciliation, the end of hostility among us, and unity of spirit and purpose between us. One of our main goals as Christians is to be His hands and feet in THAT purpose. I know, you tried that and failed. The example of Christ and our covenant with Him, though, is that He is faithful even when we are not. Believe me, I know that's a hard example to follow. But the rewards are freedom from hostility, forgiveness, a lifting of those burdens of rejection and resentment that weigh so heavily. In all you've posted, the greatest sense I get is pain, which is coming from a genuine desire to be connected to a group of truly loving Christians. Don't give up. That's out there for you, and it's worth pursuing. It's worth it.

Peace.

[ReneeIW]

48 minutes ago, Blood Bought 1953 said:

Sorry to have to disagree on this.......If you believe the Gospel That Jesus died for your sins and rose from the dead you are a saved Christian......you may be a good one or a bad one but you ARE one...

Have you done a thread about how one gets to the point where they become a”saved Christian?” You’re saying just believe, but obviously it’s not that simply for some people who may have been born into a belief system where works etc. were emphasized. How does one get to a point where they just believe? How do you know that you truly believe? 

If I were considering Christianity and I read your posts, I would be comforted that I don’t have to measure up to a standard that I am incapable of measuring up to;but at the same time, I would also have anxiety that I didn’t believe in the right way or didn’t believe enough. Have you discussed your journey of being in bondage to just believing the Gospel and how you got there?

[Neighbor]

1 minute ago, maryjayne said:

But so many, at least in the UK, don't believe. It's a socioeconomic habit to attend church. A 'British middle class' activity.

Over my working life I have worked in many such churches. There is a big freemasonry membership in them, and a belief that the Bible is just one of many 'interesting' books.

This belief is from clergy and laity.

So maybe a definition of belief is needed.

Very interesting  And yes maybe a definition is in order.