I’m hurting so much. I just need a place to talk...

[missmuffet]

8 hours ago, Jesusispeace said:

Im looking for a place to just speak my heart about what’s happening in my life.

I don’t have a soul to speak to personally.

i talk to God and I also know He sees everything but I really feel alone because I don’t have any friends or relatives to just share my pain.

i am really trying to hold on to scripture and Gods promises for my life. I feel like I’ve been in darkness so long and I’ve been alone in it, it’s just incredibly difficult to survive each day and keep my head up.

I am the only one who can soothe myself and I have to carry a load of hurt in my heart and head without releasing it.

For starters, 

my marriage is in a crisis. we fight so much. My husband gets physical. 
He’s depressed and refuses medical attention. He doesn’t believe in God. He places his whole happiness in my hands and thinks I can save him.

i can’t.

i can’t say that to him. He calls me a quitter. 
 

it’s too much too much to be considered someone’s savior!!

or course I pray 

Everyday I stay home and I take care of our 1.5 year old and we have another baby on the way

im worried about how that will go! 
 

im already sleep deprived and on edge trying to keep him happy and not explode. 
 

indont get a break

i Constantly have 100 things to do and I’m tired. I want to so badly just devote more tome to spending with God but I have a list of chores to complete and then constantly check up on my husband because that’s what he wants.

i have an older daughter from my previous marriage who stopped talking to me. I can’t understand why. I’ve been desperately trying to reach out to her and she ignores me.

 

im in so much pain about that! And I can’t really talk about it 

I had a falling out with my parents as well. 

i feel the world just crumbling under my feet.
 

i pray when I can

I’m waiting on God

but I’m exhausted I don’t really know what I want or need

when I go out, I keep to myself. I don’t smile at anyone unless I absolutely have to. I don’t talk to other moms when i take my daughter places.

i need some comfort but I’m avoiding everyone. It’s not like I can share all this with a stranger anyway

i just want to poor my heart out I guess 

 

If you are being abused I suggest you get out of that marriage. God does not want you to be a door mat. If your husband can not be the husband God wants him to be perhaps you should get some help. Your children are being damaged by staying in that abusive household. You are afraid of him but that is what he wants and he has you where he wants you. 

[R. Hartono]

4 hours ago, Jesusispeace said:

My husband decided I’m the only one in this world who could save him.

hes not addicted, but he’s extremely depressed and surely demon possessed with anger 

What is his job ?

[Debp]

4 hours ago, Jesusispeace said:

we have awful fights at night and I’m in tears most of the time. 

Remember this verse..."A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Also, just put your husband in the Lord's hands.   Start to take care of yourself, don't worry about him...let the Lord deal with him.   Get some rest...keep a quiet spirit/heart.   If necessary, go out for a brief stroll if he starts to argue with you.   If he gets physical, call the police.  Don't let him manipulate you.

 

[Darin]

Do you attend a church? Do you know anyone on the staff who can offer counseling? I pray for reconciliation in your marriage, because divorce is a destructive process. I pray for your safety. I pray your husband would be open to seeking help and seeking God. If he has defined himself by his job, as so many of us have done, then when that security is threatened he can feel lost. At least he is willing to talk - that is a good thing, although the conversation is probably very volatile.

So much good advice here, scripture, prayers. Seek help through your church and professional counselors who can guide your marriage through this storm. In the healing process following my divorce, I came to understand we forgot God was part of our marriage. We were living for ourselves, and not praying together.

Marriage is a covenant. Remember your vows. Could you possibly have a conversation about happier times? Are there pictures that might trigger those memories?

Edited October 9, 2019 by Darin
added

[other one]

5 hours ago, Jesusispeace said:

when he gets angry, I see demons oozing out of his mouth and face 

if he is possessed he needs an exorcism...  If you can't handle that, talk with your pastor for help, and if you don't have a pastor find one.   If your pastor can't help then find a new pastor.  

[Jesusispeace]

1 hour ago, Debp said:

Remember this verse..."A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Also, just put your husband in the Lord's hands.   Start to take care of yourself, don't worry about him...let the Lord deal with him.   Get some rest...keep a quiet spirit/heart.   If necessary, go out for a brief stroll if he starts to argue with you.   If he gets physical, call the police.  Don't let him manipulate you.

 

Yes Deb!! 
I know this verse!!!

im trying to keep to this verse REALLY hard!

i know anger is foolish and I have greatly softened up

I give my husband to the Lord everyday 

only He can perform miracles on people as He does! I have so much scripture saved in my notes to have faith ❤️

[Walter and Deborah]

2 hours ago, Jesusispeace said:

Yes Deb!! 
I know this verse!!!

im trying to keep to this verse REALLY hard!

i know anger is foolish and I have greatly softened up

I give my husband to the Lord everyday 

only He can perform miracles on people as He does! I have so much scripture saved in my notes to have faith ❤️

Amen, and Hi, I have been hearing in your OP, I will be in prayer with my wife about your faith in your Lord, but I'm asking you to hold on to His unchanging scriptures for yourself and family, because Jesus knows exactly what to do for this issue. He is waiting on you. We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

We will be in prayer for you and your family, ok? Thanks.

[Repose]

There... Is a truth to the fact that not standing up for yourself is enabling him. Imagine it like prison. If you let them push you around or take your things, then they will never stop and they will only get worse. However, please don't put it squarely on yourself. He is still the one being violent and he is still the one being unreasonable. Assert yourself. Call the police if you must. Be prepared to leg it or whatever else until they arrive. I don't know about divorce, but... I wouldn't personally stick around with someone who treated me in such a way. Even just reading that he's put his hands on you has my teeth itching.

It can be hard to reach out for help, like it's somehow shameful that this has happened, but it is HE who has done this. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

[JustPassingThru]

@JesusispeaceBeloved sister, I have read what you have said and I've heard you speak from your heart, ...I too am listening.

My first question is why do you believe Father told you to stay, ...was it to stay in your marriage, ...yes I agree, ...but I doubt Father contradicted Himself concerning an abusive situation:

But if the unbelieving one separates, let him be separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.  1 Cor 7;15

The word peace means: tranquility, security, safety, harmony, ...Father doesn't want you to "submit to your husband," ...and be his punching bag just because his life is in a shambles, ...please, may I humbly suggest your next phone call is to find a safe place for abused women, ...maybe look in the phone book, or call the police and ask if they can refer you to one, ...talk to the police, ...just register his behavior with them, ...that doesn't mean you have to file charges, ...your looking for information and a safe place for your children.

Because of your situation, your first responsibility is no longer to your husband, but rather to your children, ...please remember, our children are on loan to us from God, ...one day we will have to give an account to Him for how we raised them, ...that means their safety, both physical and spiritual is paramount in their lives.

Look at and consider what Paul says:

 For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband?    1 Cor 7:16  

Your separating from your husband for your safety and the children could be the final thing that breaks Him, ...from what you have said he has lost everything that he considers of value, ...except you and his daughter, ...our Salvation is a moment of extreme "crisis," ...a moment when time seems to stand still, at that moment, when we realize who we really are, ...sinners, where we are destined to go, ...Hell, and we need to be saved from who we are and where we are going,

...dear one, you have done all you can do, ...you have brought Christ to your husband, ...please remember, no matter how much you love him, ...and you do love him to stay with him, ...only the Holy Spirit can bring him to Christ...

Precious sister, ...please ask Father to remove you out of harms way, please let Him lead and guide your life at this time in your marriage.

Be assured, ...I'm praying for you along with the others here at Worthy.

Lord bless

 

 

[Blue Lulu]

Keeping you in my prayers.