Moving in with my boyfriend

[Guest 1sheep]

2 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

No I'm not looking for confirmation. Everyone has their opinions and that's fine. I'm still deciding on what to do. The whole reason I made this thread is because I'm kind of stuck between the choices of whether to go and whether it's really bad to do so. 

The only opinion a christian should have in making life decisions is the opinion that lines up with Gods will .God  wrote it all down in his word for us so we would know and so we wouldnt stumble. 

You have been given good advice. If you are born again; God will make your life more miserable than you want to experiece for going against his will. Trust me; I learned the hard way! I was in a season where God chastened me for years.  God says he chastens those whom are his.

Do you understand how serious rebellion against God is? 

God will make a way for you if you repent of your sin and trust him to make a way. 

God can also shut doors and make your life very difficult if you choose to disobey. 

Choose wisely because it is you who will reap whatever you sow.

[Neighbor]

Hi,

Bluntly;  want fair?  No one promised fair. Fair gains everyone hell for that is what is deserved by all. Knock off the it isn't fair stuff, less God decides okay here is fair.   Get a job, two jobs, even three. Get to working all the time, pile up some money, giving mamma some right off the top too!

 No one needs a partner male nor female if one will work hard and long! One won't have the toys the other late twenty year olds may have by sitting around at their own momma's home. But one need not sell their body for a mere bed and board at a so called boy friend's either.

Time to get up some go and get to working doing all that is done trying to do it all to the glory of God, instead of hoping "fair" will come visit.

 

Edited October 30, 2018 by Neighbor

[JohnD]

There are a lot of mixed messages on this topic.

"God won't leave you... BUT... your actions will CONDEMN you..." for example.

Yes / No... which is it?

I am a huge fan of marriage. It's hard work and pain and suffering and (oh yeah) bliss and etc.

Many folks will dole out advice not taking into consideration

1. they are not you

2. they don't know your situation

3. truth be told many of them probably shacked up at one time or other

4. most have had premarital sex

5. many have had multiple marriages

need I go on?

We should all read Matthew 7:1-7 very carefully and remember what happened

to King David when he judged the sheep thief Nathan told him about in a parable. Lest we also judge

ourselves.

God's grace is total and it is eternal (not dependent upon what you do or don't do once you have it).

You get it only by believing in Jesus Christ.

Could there be consequences for living with your boyfriend?

Oh sure.

There are consequences for marriage too.

You might find one day your boyfriend is a total louse,

but after a kid or two are born you are stuck with him forever in that he is your children's father.

Remember also... common law marriage is a legally binding relationship after living together for seven years.

If so many only married and so few shacked up... how did such a law ever come about over a hundred years ago?

That being said... though many make a mockery of marriage today "'til death do us part" has become 'till I get bored,

'til someone better comes along, 'til someone else comes along, 'til I fall out of love, 'til she gets old,

'til I catch him looking at porn, 'til I just don't want to be married anymore...  you get the picture...

Marriage is a life commitment.

It is the basis for exclusivity and the commitment to it when the times come that you don't feel so amorous about your spouse, yes there will even be times of dislike... even hate. And the commitment is all you have to hang on to. But those times pass. You rediscover one another, the love you have and the spiritual bond that shared sexuality actually is. This is why we shouldn't go around boinking everyone and every thing (1 Corinthians 6 and 7 if memory serves) there is a spiritual element to human sexuality.

Question is.... to those contemplating marriage... do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into?

This is a demanding life commitment that is hard work and other-centered if you want to be happy and successful.

And there are no guarantees. Other than betrayal and divorce will rip asunder two souls bound as one (there are few woes  in this life as bad as that).

What if your spouse cannot perform sexually? Are you granted a get out of jail card? Nope. 

What if they are invalid and you have to do everything for them? Push them around in a wheelchair and wipe every orifice? This is what you took an oath to

commit to.

So... shacking up is sounding better... it's not.

Neither is trying on the relationship for fit (trial marriage / shacking up with the intent to marry).

Most women will find most guys only want sex. To get it, they will go along with these schemes with marriage in mind / possibility... 

Some guys will go as far as serial monogamy (repeated marriages and divorce) to get sex...

Shacking up... a womanizer's dream arrangement.

No commitment.

The thing is... there is a spiritual element to human sexuality.  You can't beat that fact or go around it or the consequences.

The one situation that deals best with all of this is biblical marriage (designed by the Maker of human sexuality / personality / traits).

Go figure...

As I said before, doggone few people have gone by the precise prescribed way:

1. abstinence before marriage

2. fidelity in marriage

3. marriage for life

4. one man for one woman for life

And even then there are the possible risks I mentioned earlier (forsaking all others, in sickness and in health).

But only faithful commitment will do.

I believe everyone contemplating marriage should be counseled (taught about relations not just sex, learn how to budget, cook, clean, shop, do laundry, how to raise children, etc.) and then have an "are you really really really sure you know what you are getting yourself into?" interval  along with a time of observing each others' potential in-laws (to see what kind of cloth their fiance is cut from and they will more than likely become in years to come). Also I think they should be counseled on other options like education or the Peace Corps or joining the military...

But even then... people will tend to follow their hormones... I mean hearts... 

 

[GodPrincess]

Hi, thanks for sharing. Cohabitation has proven to be the best tester in terms of the viability of a relationship. Although a lot of "rules" haven't changed, the church has accepted and embraced a lot of change. God only asks that you respect His Word and Ten Commandments. Any "fine print" and monopolizations dictated by the church are overthoughts 

[missmuffet]

Are you a Christian? Mistake number one. It is a sin to live with a man before you are married. I am thinking you know that.

[Jostler]

On 1/25/2019 at 2:27 PM, GodPrincess said:

Hi, thanks for sharing. Cohabitation has proven to be the best tester in terms of the viability of a relationship. Although a lot of "rules" haven't changed, the church has accepted and embraced a lot of change. God only asks that you respect His Word and Ten Commandments. Any "fine print" and monopolizations dictated by the church are overthoughts 

 

Quote

Exo 20:14

“You shall not commit adultery.

 

[GodPrincess]

Amen

[Billiards Ball]

On 10/22/2018 at 8:14 AM, Figure of eighty said:

I'm nervous bc my friends have tried and it's just going miserable for them. Well one...idk about the other. 

 

I love my bf A LOT. Plus I'd be going for financial reasons...as well as to get a certification. 

I'm also neverouc bc a friend of mine said God would leave me forever if I left. 

 

But home isn't the best environment for me.

If you are a saved Christian, marriage is righteous, shacking up isn't.

There has to be a female friend you can move in with instead...

[Jayne]

On ‎1‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 4:27 PM, GodPrincess said:

Hi, thanks for sharing. Cohabitation has proven to be the best tester in terms of the viability of a relationship. Although a lot of "rules" haven't changed, the church has accepted and embraced a lot of change. God only asks that you respect His Word and Ten Commandments. Any "fine print" and monopolizations dictated by the church are overthoughts 

The church did not come up with the idea of marriage the sanctity of it.  

That was God's idea and that does NOT change.  You said that God wants us to respect his word.

• Jesus said to the woman at the well when exposing her sin that she had been married 5 times and was now shacked up with a man she was not married to.
• Hebrews 13:4 says that marriage is honorable, but that adulterers and fornicators will be judged by God. [Just like all sinners will be judged by God, but the author of Hebrews is making a point about marriage in particular.]
• Acts 15 gives the teaching to abstain from sexual impurity.
• 1 Corinthians 7 says that people who desire sex should feel free to marry. It doesn't say that they should feel free to shack up.
• The same passage also say for widows who still have a sex drive to marry again.  It doesn't tell them to move in with their boyfriend.

So there you go.  There the word of God.  All of  us, including the OP, should - as you say respect his word.

[other one]

On ‎1‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 4:27 PM, GodPrincess said:

Hi, thanks for sharing. Cohabitation has proven to be the best tester in terms of the viability of a relationship. Although a lot of "rules" haven't changed, the church has accepted and embraced a lot of change. God only asks that you respect His Word and Ten Commandments. Any "fine print" and monopolizations dictated by the church are overthoughts 

I think you have a distorted view of what God asks of us...   at best it is extremely short sighted.