Having faith in difficult times

[lftc]

On 8/25/2019 at 4:06 AM, worriedwife69 said:

Thank you everyone for all of you kind words and encouragement. It has been difficult for sure and right now it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel yet as more issues keep coming up. I do talk to him about his doubts about God and who he is and why these things happen and he listens but then it starts all over again but he did watch the move "left behind" last week with me and he seemed interested in it and hasn't really said much in the way of doubting God. I feel like I have let my own fear get in the way where it seems I'm not trusting God but sometimes it is very hard to not let that show. 

My heart hurts for what you and your husband are experiencing.  I pray that you each find a bit of strength each day.  The situations in this life will end, but when in agony every day, sometimes every minute, is too long.  I know too well, but wish I did not.

I will share a couple things that give me a bit more resolve to face the apparently unending path in front of me.

The apostle Paul said "For me to live is Christ, to die is gain".  For many people that is a grand thought, for someone who is or has been on Paul's road, it has much greater emotional content. Not that other people are less, just not in the same road.  In 2 Cor 1 Paul writes that he was pressed far beyond his ability to endure, so that he despaired of life itself  (not my words see vs 8).  

In Lamentations 3, Jeremiah writes the famous verses about the mercies of the LORD being new every morning. Very beautiful and full of hope.  But the context of where he says it is startling.  Starting from the first part of the chapter and rereading it as I write, my eyes are filled with tears, and when I get to the part people like, I have barely enough strength to do what Jeremiah did "Yet I call this to mind".   I pray that your husband has barely enough strength to call it to mind as well.

People, who mean well and are truly caring, often say that "God does not tempt beyond your ability to endure'.   Maybe for your husband such words do what they can do to me: add another failure to the list of failures I have as it appears to be based on faith.  Studying faith is very important and has given me the ability to gently ignore such advice.  The scriptures above, and many others like them, help me know that my ordeal is valid, not because I am stupid (which may be true) or I am weak (which is true) or the most important NOT BECAUSE GOD DOES NOT CARE, which is the most frightening thought of all.

The season will come to an end.  We just have to hold on each day or minute.  But that is so difficult.  I do not intend to offer pat answers to someone being tortured.

In addition, many of the Psalms are powerful examples that David and the other writers often went through similar seasons. Psalm 38, 43, 88 help me.

It would be really helpful to find a group of Jesus's people in your area.  The Love of Jesus coming through human hugs and hands can help.  But that is very difficult as I have found that many act like Love, but they have a limit.  But it is worth the risk as I think Jesus will help guide you to them.

Again,  I wish ardently that I could fix the situation for your husband.  I pray that he can feel that he is not alone today.

LookingForTheCity

[Billiards Ball]

On 8/21/2019 at 10:39 PM, worriedwife69 said:

My husband I'm not really sure is a believer, if he is he lacks faith and questions who and why God does the things he does, he is very angry with God for 

a lot of different things. He has had a lot of health issues over the last 25 years. Most recent he was diagnosed with colon cancer but it doesn't stop there, he developed something now with his nerves and he's been dealing with a lot of nausea. He is becoming so depressed and angry and just says he's tired of being here. I am very supportive, I love him and I do trust God but I do find myself in constant worry, fear I don't know if it's because they can't figure out some of the things wrong with him and I worry about his state of mind as we keep going to doctor and doctor and the frustration or if it's me lacking trust. It is so hard to remain strong and supportive and encouraging when he is none of that. How do I keep strong and remain positive when he is so negative and filled with anger and puts my belief in God down all the time?

What have you tried to do to remain positive so far?

[worriedwife69]

Thank you everyone. It is so hard to go through this when your spouse is not a believer, or maybe he is but is really struggling with believing why God would do this. He told me that he wants to believe in God but when he has prayed it has always ended up bad, a few of those times have been when his mother was ill then died, when his father was ill and died, his medical issues but they keep getting worse. He has simply lost faith. In my times of weakness because this is so hard, hearing him be so negative and saying he doesn't even want to be here anymore are difficult things to hear and I feel like he sees my weakness more than my trust in God.

Things I have done to remain positive,Lots of prayer, I have been in the word a lot, reading versus that mean a lot to me during this time. Outside of that talking with friends although a couple of them are not Christians but I do have a couple that are. I have family that are Christians but my husband does not like them knowing a lot about his issues because my mother tells the world the moment she finds out anything and my husband is a very private person. We have asked her not to only to find that she "slipped" and right now having them constantly bringing up God has been a touchy subject recently so it makes it difficult for me to talk with them. I keep praying and giving it to God but I can't seem to get rid of all of the anxiety feelings I have.

[mlbrokish]

God is with you, carrying you through this valley.  Your prayers and praise to Him, is essential in keeping close to Him.  God Bless you & praying for continued strength for you and your husband. 

[gratefulwoman]

Hi Sister! Your husband has a lot of scary things going on, and pain can make a person miserable, even if they believe in the Lord with all their heart. 

I understand how hard this must be for you: you love him, you worry about him, and you want him to hold onto God in these moments and he doesn't seem to be doing that. Put your own life vest on first, as they say. Study God's Word and become SO in love with Him that nothing can shake your faith. Reach out to other women to pray for you and comfort you, because though you are not the one with cancer, you are struggling too. 

Also... allow your husband his feelings, as you pray that the Lord reach every part of him on this journey to regain his good health.  

 

[worriedwife69]

I really appreciate the encouragement. Lately I feel like I just don't know how much more I can take. I'm trying to remain faithful and trust the Lord but when my husband is getting more angry and down about everything makes it so hard. He is literally starting to give up hope that anything will ever get better. I try to be encouraging but he thinks I'm only saying it. I do research after research to try and find things to help his symptoms he is having. I just don't know what to do, I keep praying and know God is here working even though I can't see it but it doesn't seem to make the day to day any easier. My anxiety is so bad lately.  I feel like I'm doing things wrong. Please pray for us.

[mlbrokish]

Praying for you and your husband. I'm sorry this situation has been so difficult on you both.  No one can understand why God has put you on this path, but as long as you cling to Jesus, as you have been doing, you will persevere.  In that, your trust in God will surely bring hope to your husband some day, even if it is only a small glimmer, and even if it is still a distance away.  God's strength will guide you.

 

xo

- Michelle

[JohnD]

On 8/21/2019 at 9:39 PM, worriedwife69 said:

My husband I'm not really sure is a believer, if he is he lacks faith and questions who and why God does the things he does, he is very angry with God for 

a lot of different things. He has had a lot of health issues over the last 25 years. Most recent he was diagnosed with colon cancer but it doesn't stop there, he developed something now with his nerves and he's been dealing with a lot of nausea. He is becoming so depressed and angry and just says he's tired of being here. I am very supportive, I love him and I do trust God but I do find myself in constant worry, fear I don't know if it's because they can't figure out some of the things wrong with him and I worry about his state of mind as we keep going to doctor and doctor and the frustration or if it's me lacking trust. It is so hard to remain strong and supportive and encouraging when he is none of that. How do I keep strong and remain positive when he is so negative and filled with anger and puts my belief in God down all the time?

God be with you. It's not easy. And you will be rewarded.

But also remember, God is a big God... he can take doubt, anger (even wrath) from us. He knows your husband and what he feels etc. better than anyone. 

Leave him in God's hands. And try to have peace about that.

Hopefully that itself will lighten your burden.

[worriedwife69]

Helllo, I needed to come back for some encouragement so I was rereading the replies. These past couple of weeks have been very up and down. He has good days then a couple really bad days, mostly from chemo and just adjusting to other things from his surgery. I keep praying and praying and giving this to God and I want to I know He is the only one who can deliver me from my fears and anxieties but I still seem to always be so afraid and full of anxiety. I sit with the Lord and cry out to him, I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know in my heart God has control of this and I can't fix anything but here every day I struggle with actually doing this.

It is so hard on those difficult days he has how he feels like he's a hostage to his own home and can't even go anywhere and how he gets angry, i'm not used to that it scares me, I don't know how to react. I know he's hurting and hates what he is going through and I'm sure others have felt like giving up but I just don't know how to react it hurts, I pray. thanks for listening

[mlbrokish]

47 minutes ago, worriedwife69 said:

Helllo, I needed to come back for some encouragement so I was rereading the replies. These past couple of weeks have been very up and down. He has good days then a couple really bad days, mostly from chemo and just adjusting to other things from his surgery. I keep praying and praying and giving this to God and I want to I know He is the only one who can deliver me from my fears and anxieties but I still seem to always be so afraid and full of anxiety. I sit with the Lord and cry out to him, I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know in my heart God has control of this and I can't fix anything but here every day I struggle with actually doing this.

It is so hard on those difficult days he has how he feels like he's a hostage to his own home and can't even go anywhere and how he gets angry, i'm not used to that it scares me, I don't know how to react. I know he's hurting and hates what he is going through and I'm sure others have felt like giving up but I just don't know how to react it hurts, I pray. thanks for listening

 I'm calling out to my brothers and sisters here on Worthy (those who may or may not have followed this thread) to help our sister in need with prayers and encouragement.  I know that together we are stronger, so I am hoping the friends I include here can help. @marvelloustime, @Jubilea, @turtletwo, @BeauJangles, @IainL, @Debp, @TheAimes, @ladypeartree, @IloveyouGod., @listener24,  (please forward to others if you wish)    

Also, @worriedwife69, there's a group I am in contact with via email that has a wonderful ministry and is familiar with Worthy, and they will certainly be helpful in prayers.

Know that you are doing the best you can and continue to let God lead you in all your ways.  He will give you strength to carry on.  God bless.

-- Michelle