I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?
Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?
As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.
I am not understanding what you are confused about.
Maybe you are not understanding self-hatred? I hate myself because I speak my mind and discover my words hurt someone. I hate myself because I respond in judgment rather than grace. I hate myself because I don't love as Jesus loved, and in many ways still don't know how to. I hate myself because I'm a louse. I hate myself because I keep messing up. I hate myself because . . . .
Now, can I truly be patient with someone else when I can't be patient with myself?
Can I show grace to another where I can't show grace to myself?
We may appear as if we are extending grace and forgiveness, but the truth is that we are doormats allowing people to plow over us and resentment is growing in us like mildew in the forgotten parts of the basement.
So what the Lord showed me was that I need to hate what is the "flesh" that needs to be overcome without seeing myself as "the flesh" - view the flesh as a parasite or a virus rather than a part of me.