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Love Yourself?

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Ran across this thread while searching for something else and thought it might make a good discussion. The question still stands.

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Different take: What is there to love? "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing". The doctrine in the word of God is that of self-denial,

"...If any man will come after me, let him deny himself",

"...first shall be last; and the last shall be first."

"And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh." Doesn't sound like self-love to me.

May be a wrong interpretation of scripture on my part, but it is a different view.

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How can you begin to Love others if you don't start from a foundation of Loving yourself? In a completely scriptural way, I mean.

The world has twisted loving oneself to mean pride, arrogance etc, and this is true of a lot of people, and I think in every one of us there is a vestige of this.

However, if we have the Spirit living within us, that is the Love we should feel. For ourselves and others.

It's not about being humble or denying oneself. One can be humble and Love oneself. Matter of fact it is probably a prerequisite.

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I hear what your saying, Fez, but in my mind, to love you need another person, anyway, signing out for tonight.

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How can you begin to Love others if you don't start from a foundation of Loving yourself? In a completely scriptural way, I mean.

The world has twisted loving oneself to mean pride, arrogance etc, and this is true of a lot of people, and I think in every one of us there is a vestige of this.

However, if we have the Spirit living within us, that is the Love we should feel. For ourselves and others.

It's not about being humble or denying oneself. One can be humble and Love oneself. Matter of fact it is probably a prerequisite.

Yep. Its like that old saying about not being able to give something you don't have.

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I hear what your saying, Fez, but in my mind, to love you need another person, anyway, signing out for tonight.

I understand your viewpoint, but let me ask you, do you think a person can love others while hating themselves? I know many people who don't love themselves and it manifests in their daily walk, Christian or not? (remember I am not talking about self pride here, I am talking about self love)

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39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

I always thought of self love as a negative thing. Here I see that I've had a wrong view of it. Thank you for this, Walla.

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The word used there in the Greek is Agapao not Eros and not Phileo.

Here's the translation;

25. agapao

agapaw agapao ag-ap-ah'-o

perhaps from agan (much) (or compare 5689); to love (in a social or moral sense):--(be-)love(-ed). Compare 5368.

Husbands are admonished to Love their wives in the same way. That is because to Love one's wife is to Love ones own flesh.

Ge 2:24

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

You are to Love your neighbor as if they were your own flesh. You are to do this in a moral sense.

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walla and Choe, nailed it, I just didn't have my ears on, "as you love yourself", "love your wife even as you love yourself".

I concede you all are right.

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Wow, this is something else that is a revelation to me as well. Thank you for sharing this.

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I'm in agreement with Fez here. To love others, you must first love yourself. But not the pridefull, egotistical, arrogant love. That's not what Jesus means. But in the USA anyway, self love means getting everything you want for yourself, and who cares about the other guy., Where I live, to show concern for the other guy is seen as either being foolish, or you're seeen as a 1 in a million type of person. I've had several people tell me that if everyone was like this, what a wonderful world it would be. To that I usually say then let's do it. You can't just sit back and wait for everyone else to do it. We all have to do it.

I tell this to anyone whenever I get the chance. I hope it will sink in on some people.

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I would add that the scripture in question is speaking of taking care of and loving yourself in a moral sense. Much like Onelight has posted. Doesn't God want us to take precautions like exercising to stay healthy, or covering our nakedness to stay warm, or feeding our body's so that we do not starve?

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walla and Chloe nailed it,

BTW, off topic I know but, I love your little Pharoah and Moses. :b:

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?

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We can not divorce man from his sins.

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

BTW, off topic I know but, I love your little Pharoah and Moses. :b:
I wonder how long it would take for someone to say something, they are actually toys. :rofl:
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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?

I am not understanding what you are confused about.

Maybe you are not understanding self-hatred? I hate myself because I speak my mind and discover my words hurt someone. I hate myself because I respond in judgment rather than grace. I hate myself because I don't love as Jesus loved, and in many ways still don't know how to. I hate myself because I'm a louse. I hate myself because I keep messing up. I hate myself because . . . .

Now, can I truly be patient with someone else when I can't be patient with myself?

Can I show grace to another where I can't show grace to myself?

We may appear as if we are extending grace and forgiveness, but the truth is that we are doormats allowing people to plow over us and resentment is growing in us like mildew in the forgotten parts of the basement.

So what the Lord showed me was that I need to hate what is the "flesh" that needs to be overcome without seeing myself as "the flesh" - view the flesh as a parasite or a virus rather than a part of me.

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?

I am not understanding what you are confused about.

Maybe you are not understanding self-hatred? I hate myself because I speak my mind and discover my words hurt someone. I hate myself because I respond in judgment rather than grace. I hate myself because I don't love as Jesus loved, and in many ways still don't know how to. I hate myself because I'm a louse. I hate myself because I keep messing up. I hate myself because . . . .

Now, can I truly be patient with someone else when I can't be patient with myself?

Can I show grace to another where I can't show grace to myself?

We may appear as if we are extending grace and forgiveness, but the truth is that we are doormats allowing people to plow over us and resentment is growing in us like mildew in the forgotten parts of the basement.

So what the Lord showed me was that I need to hate what is the "flesh" that needs to be overcome without seeing myself as "the flesh" - view the flesh as a parasite or a virus rather than a part of me.

Neb, I think that that is one of the most profound and deeply personal post you have ever written, that I know about. Thank you for it.
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I was almost going to say that the self hatred Nebula is talking about is peculiar to women, but it's not. It's just more common among women because women take more of their sense of self worth from others, compared to men. But I know that even men get their sense of self worth from others. I think with men, much of it comes from parents. Once the parents are long gone, men take their sense of self worth from within, based on what we know and what we can do. But many women, even after the parents are gone, seek a sense of self worth from without themselves. And this is exactly why a husband must treat his wife as he would himself. Now based on how God set this up, and created us, as the husband treats his wife as good as himself, the wife then treats her husband very good. This in turn should lead the husband to treating his wife even better. And if it goes as God planned, when a wife feels good about herself she's more likely than her husband is at spreading this love abroad. From what I've noticed in my life, women find it easier to show love and charity to strangers than men do. But the woman/wife needs to feel very secure about herself to do this. Which comes back to the husband/man. I believe this is how God created us for it to work. And I'd say a few hundred years ago it was working for many people.

But then hedonism came in and ruined it. The egotistical self love took over. At least where I am. Once a woman get's kicked in her heart by 2 or 3 men, it's debatable whether or not she can do this. But a man too, once he gets kicked in the heart by several women, or wives, he finds it almost impossible to treat a woman as she needs to be treated.

And now it's gotten even worse. Nowadays a lot of women think the answer is lesbian love. I was just told this by a woman in her 50's. She likes me, but since I'm a man I am not to be trusted. I don't know her well. But the little I do know tells me she's being kicked in the heart by another lesbian. And as we all know, male homosexuality is on the rise. As if homosexuals are going to be true and faithful to each other. I doubt it because of what I've heard and seen. But I doubt it even more because God didn't create the human race this way. But I am a Bible believing Christian, so of course I think homosexuals will hurt each other even worse.

For me the only answer is to repent and get back to Bible morals

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I was almost going to say that the self hatred Nebula is talking about is peculiar to women, but it's not. It's just more common among women because women take more of their sense of self worth from others, compared to men. But I know that even men get their sense of self worth from others.

Good point to make. But actually, from what I've learned, men tend to get their self worth from their performance.

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..from what I've learned, men tend to get their self worth from their performance.

:thumbsup:
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Hi Neb, well yes, that's part of what I meant that men get their sense of self worth from what they can do, and what they know. So I don't disagree. But for me, until both parents were long gone, I got my sense of self worth from them. And they both considered me a stupid, useless, good for nothing, sorry excuse for a person. However, I proved to myself I am not that at all. I proved it by how i handled and survived the Sandy super storm. I know neither one of them would have ever thought I could do what I did. But I've been proving this for the last 10 years. However, in my mind is still the self image they gave me. So men are not immune to this neither. But it's much easier for me to spread the love of God to others, now that I no longer have someone telling me, almost daily, how worthless I am.

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Understood JTC.

Blessings on getting those negative thoughts replaced with the Lord's words of life.

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?

I am not understanding what you are confused about.

Maybe you are not understanding self-hatred? I hate myself because I speak my mind and discover my words hurt someone. I hate myself because I respond in judgment rather than grace. I hate myself because I don't love as Jesus loved, and in many ways still don't know how to. I hate myself because I'm a louse. I hate myself because I keep messing up. I hate myself because . . . .

Now, can I truly be patient with someone else when I can't be patient with myself?

Can I show grace to another where I can't show grace to myself?

We may appear as if we are extending grace and forgiveness, but the truth is that we are doormats allowing people to plow over us and resentment is growing in us like mildew in the forgotten parts of the basement.

So what the Lord showed me was that I need to hate what is the "flesh" that needs to be overcome without seeing myself as "the flesh" - view the flesh as a parasite or a virus rather than a part of me.

Your flesh is an integral part of you. I'm not understanding you sis.

Maybe you're saying that you should beat it into submission and treat it harshly as Paul did?

The thing that I come away with is this though;

Ro 5:20

Moreover the law entered, that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:

A man is told to Love his wife for she is part of him. She is basically his flesh, bone of his bone. She being the weaker of the two is to be covered with much more Grace but she is never called a virus.

Can you expound on what you are saying because I want to get what you are saying?

Sin is an unwanted intruder much like a virus but God came to completely liberate you of its effects. Even so, He has come that we might have life and have it abundently. His desire has been to raise us up and back to what we were meant to be and that includes bodily according to scripture.

Edited to add;

I understand that we are to treat our Flesh harshly in regards to it's opposition to Christ. However, it is the pen-ultimate act of worship to willfully bend our Flesh finitely and Worship the Lord in a poem, a song, a painting, or even in feeding another human being that expresses our Love for Christ. In this regard our Flesh is a gift from God as we make it the willing subject of Christ. In that respect I don't get the whole virus thing and we certainly can't divorce ourselves from the Flesh. The greatest thing we can do with it is make Christ it's Master.

Peace,

Dave

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As someone who has been struggling with self-hatred, the Lord recently showed me that "my flesh" is not me. Hating my flesh, my sin, my sin nature, is not hating myself. Even more, you can and should hate your flesh without hating yourself.

Sis, wouldn't that be the nature of your flesh?

I don't quite understand what you are getting at Nebula? I think I see where you are going with the flesh thing, but as Matthitjah says, is it not one and the same thing?

I am not understanding what you are confused about.

Maybe you are not understanding self-hatred? I hate myself because I speak my mind and discover my words hurt someone. I hate myself because I respond in judgment rather than grace. I hate myself because I don't love as Jesus loved, and in many ways still don't know how to. I hate myself because I'm a louse. I hate myself because I keep messing up. I hate myself because . . . .

Now, can I truly be patient with someone else when I can't be patient with myself?

Can I show grace to another where I can't show grace to myself?

We may appear as if we are extending grace and forgiveness, but the truth is that we are doormats allowing people to plow over us and resentment is growing in us like mildew in the forgotten parts of the basement.

So what the Lord showed me was that I need to hate what is the "flesh" that needs to be overcome without seeing myself as "the flesh" - view the flesh as a parasite or a virus rather than a part of me.

Absolutely Beautiful! Nebula, your perfectly on track here. Once I learned that I was not the flesh, nor the sin dwelling in my flesh, I was on the right side of the battle field! Today, I simply rebuke him when he speaks. Being able to recognize the difference between thoughts offered to you and your own personal thoughts is a major part of the victory over sin in your life. Guard your heart, for out of it proceed all the issues of life. May the Lord take you to the next level of understanding the war on sin in you and in me, that you might excel in your walk with him, knowing the truth and being set free from sin.

God bless you Nebula!

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