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What to say to a friend who tells you she is suicidal?

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11 replies to this topic

#1
19Duggarfan

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So Monday at about 315am, I was heading out to eat, and the gal, at a fast food place, asked me what to say to someone you know is suicidal.  I took one look at her face, and asked her if it was her?  And she say it was.  She is a new mother of about 9 months, and while talking about her son, called him satan.  Now I know she didn't mean it she just in that much pain.  Her and her boyfriend are under common law marriage, but he does not want to do his part in the relationship leaves her alone all the time with the baby, and really rarely let her get out to socialize with others.

 

So I told her how she was priceless in God's eyes and Christ died for her, and how her child and other family members needed her.

But not really sure I help much.

 

Any advice of how to answer her would surely be appreciated.  Please pray for this young lady also.



#2
other one

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she needs someone to be able to just set down and talk to.    You can help her more by listening than talking...    there is also a danger of involving yourself in a whole heap of problems.....      so unless you're willing to be involved and I would think your immediate family also let it alone. 

 

It's almost impossible to help her by talking for a couple of minutes.......    what she needs is prayer and a friend.......    actually lots of friends.

 

She can find both in a good Nazarene Church....    I can't speak for other places.   They may exist, but that's where the Spirit sent my family.

 

The lady is in real spiritual trouble.   I wish I could help more than prayer.



#3
19Duggarfan

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Thank you, Other One, you have truly help more than ever; for us humans I don't think there is anything more powerful than prayer.

...The fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

James 5:16b

And the Nazarene Church is definitely a great place to serve the Lord.



#4
OneLight

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Realize that your friend may also need more help than you are qualified to offer.  If it comes to a point that you know you can no longer help, point your friend to someone who can.  There are many professionals to choose from, perhaps one with Christian beliefs.



#5
Donibm

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So Monday at about 315am, I was heading out to eat, and the gal, at a fast food place, asked me what to say to someone you know is suicidal.  I took one look at her face, and asked her if it was her?  And she say it was.  She is a new mother of about 9 months, and while talking about her son, called him satan.  Now I know she didn't mean it she just in that much pain.  Her and her boyfriend are under common law marriage, but he does not want to do his part in the relationship leaves her alone all the time with the baby, and really rarely let her get out to socialize with others.

 

So I told her how she was priceless in God's eyes and Christ died for her, and how her child and other family members needed her.

But not really sure I help much.

 

Any advice of how to answer her would surely be appreciated.  Please pray for this young lady also.

 

The TRUTH is better than any modest word.

 

The TRUTH could be that she has entered the depression that some mothers go through.

 

The TRUTH is that the baby needs her, and it is her offspring.

 

The TRUTH is that those who commit suicide will see damnation.



#6
JustinM

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The US Air Force has trained us with how to deal with situations where someone admits they are contemplating suicide.  The first thing you must do, is ask them if they are considering harming/killing themselves.

 

The next thing you should do is talk to them for awhile, ask them why they feel that way and if they believe something can be done to help them.

 

After that, you should escort/accompany them to a support facility ie, Church, Counselor, Hospital, etc.

 

But, I know it is different in the Air Force, but once someone tells us they are considering harming/killing themselves we can't let them out of our sight, not until we bring them somewhere where they can get professional help.



#7
Willamina

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I agree with Dustin. You should take her seriously. Sometimes post partum blues can lead to psychosis and can be helped with medications. I would try to get her to seek medical help. Sometimes there are free clinics that can direct her to a more appropriate place that might help at mimimum expense or pro-rated as she is able to pay.

#8
LadyKay

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So Monday at about 315am, I was heading out to eat, and the gal, at a fast food place, asked me what to say to someone you know is suicidal.  I took one look at her face, and asked her if it was her?  And she say it was.  She is a new mother of about 9 months, and while talking about her son, called him satan.  Now I know she didn't mean it she just in that much pain.  Her and her boyfriend are under common law marriage, but he does not want to do his part in the relationship leaves her alone all the time with the baby, and really rarely let her get out to socialize with others.

 

So I told her how she was priceless in God's eyes and Christ died for her, and how her child and other family members needed her.

But not really sure I help much.

 

Any advice of how to answer her would surely be appreciated.  Please pray for this young lady also.

 

Not sure but I have been there. And many other new moms have been there too. So you can let her know she is now alone in her feelings. People use to try to lay guilt on me when I would share such feelings with them. They would tell me how thankful I should be because I'm not blind or something. They would tell me to just snap out of it, just get over it and be happy. All of that only made everything so much worse. Now not only am I depressed, but now I feel guilty for feeling depressed. Anyway, You can assure your friend that what she is feeling is very normal for a mother of such a young child. And that life does become "normal" again in time. I would encourage her to seek out help from her doctor. Tell her to call 911 if ever she is feeling like she can't go on. There is help. Please encourage her to seek it. I know how bad one can feel when the "darkness" takes a hold of you.



#9
Taker

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There are two ways to deal with those who are suicidal:

 

1. Embrace them; show them love and compassion. Often times, all they need is a real friend who will listen to them without judging them.

 

2. Ignore them; some people like to go around saying "I'll kill myself" in the hopes of getting attention. Some of them mean to do it while others are depressed and want attention.

 

Sooner or later, a human being needs to find the will to live within themselves. Otherwise, they will continue to be suicidal and will never embrace life.



#10
Organic Medicine

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she needs someone to be able to just set down and talk to.    You can help her more by listening than talking...    there is also a danger of involving yourself in a whole heap of problems.....      so unless you're willing to be involved and I would think your immediate family also let it alone. 
 
It's almost impossible to help her by talking for a couple of minutes.......    what she needs is prayer and a friend.......    actually lots of friends.
 
She can find both in a good Nazarene Church....    I can't speak for other places.   They may exist, but that's where the Spirit sent my family.
 
The lady is in real spiritual trouble.   I wish I could help more than prayer.

We should not be turning people away if we can help them, just by listening .Perhaps a little present for her ,not the baby . But it is better to go with others,even if it is just one who she relates to.If she does commit the terrible act and as christians we have done nothing at all, we are ignoring Jesus command to never turn down someone who asks for help. Just find one or two others to help youand show that you care. The worst will be over in time.You don't have to be there long ,just perhaps a few weeks as the crisis passes.



#11
Organic Medicine

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I am totally impressed by all of the replies. Mine was not needed .

#12
kwikphilly

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Blessings Duggar...

    Immediately,the first thing that was laid on my heart is that this young girl is experiencing this feeling of void & uselessness,utter despair & lonliness because she wants that void to be filled by her boyfriend & feels abandoned & lonely....of course,she transfers the blame on the newborn child,,,it is a little complex  and besides spiritual council she also should have professional help... but the truth of it is ,,,,,her void can only be filled by Jesus,I am not sure what you can do for her beyond what our Lord will have you to do and work through you,ministering to someone in such a state can be exhausting & you must really walk in spirit,move & speak only what the Holy Spirit leads you to do.......love her & if you feel you are not equipt to be involved then be sure to make someone close to her aware of the situation,her life is at stake....physically & SPIRITUALLY

     Pray,ask the Lord to give you Wisdom,Understanding & Direction....................God Bless you

                                                                                                                                 With love,in Christ-Kwik






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