So without unloading my entire life story on everyone, here is the skinny. My boyfriend and I were finally in a position to buy a house at the beginning of the summer after having looked for two years in a horrible market and losing out on our dream home last year because of finances and credit. This left us very depressed but nevertheless motivated to fix our situation. We paid off some bills, started actually paying other bills and finally got our credit looking good. About this time, around May of this year, we received some good news that my boyfriends VA (the department of Veteran Affairs) compensation got adjusted due to a recent new claim and we could expect a good chunk of change to come from it. Excited and emboldened that things were finally looking up for us after last years disaster and misery, we started looking for a house again. Well, as usual, plans fell through, AGAIN, for the house that we wanted so bad last year but there was light on the horizon! We got approved for financing to build our own house with all the upgrades we wanted on this gorgeous lot with a pond in the back! Everything seemed perfect and I had chalked it up to God for making us go through the disaster last year in order to give us an even bigger blessing this year. I was brought up to believe that one was walking on God's path when things start to fall into place neatly and that was exactly what was happening.
Well apparently I did this too soon because 3 days after signing the contract to start building the house and after agreeing to pay $5,000 in earnest money which we would take out of the VA money that was supposed to be coming, we received word from the VA that we would only be receiving $1,000 in compensation instead of the $12,000 we are owed. From what we could find out in the following weeks, this was due to a clerical error and we would have to file an appeal to get the mistake corrected. This all happened in late June. It is now late August and we STILL haven't heard back from them. We were supposed to pay the contractors $5,000 in earnest money before they would start building but because of our new financial development, they agreed to accept only $2,000 which we managed to pay but in doing so we have overextended ourselves and made ourselves completely broke and now our financial situation is in a bad way, AGAIN. We are supposed to be closing and moving in in mid October of this year but at this point we have absolutely no money to get a washer or dryer or fridge not to mention my boyfriend has 2 children and one of them will not have a bed to sleep in if we don't get this money but the VA is saying it may take 6 months to a year to get the problem corrected and get the money we are owed. Not to mention I have a litany of back problems and can't lift anything heavier than 10 lbs as per doctors orders. So, if we don't get this money then we will not be able to pay movers to move us nor do we have any family or friends in this state to help with the move and my boyfriend can't possibly do it all with his bad shoulder and working full time to make ends meet. To put it nicely we are royally screwed. We have sought help from a veterans service office but were told yesterday that because my boyfriend makes so much money and the fact that we aren't currently homeless that they wouldn't help us and we were laughed out the door. They however didn't take into account that a huge chunk of his paycheck goes to child support and the rest of the money goes to outstanding bills. This was our last chance at a saving grace other than buying a lottery ticket because our loan officer told us not to acquire any more credit otherwise there was a good chance we could lose the financing at closing and lose the house and our apartment at the same time because we have already put in our notice to vacate at the expiration of our lease. This means we couldn't apply for a traditional loan even if we wanted to or we risk losing everything. Again, we are royally screwed.
So my question after all of that is how do we know we are doing the right thing? I mean, are we being too greedy? Right now we are getting by, granted by the skin of our teeth but we have everything we need in the apartment we are currently in except for space. The whole reason we were looking for a house to begin with is because we are trying to get full custody of my boyfriends 2 children to get them away from a neglectful mother but right now in our apartment they are not only sharing a room but also a bed. The oldest is about to turn 11 and go through puberty and it is important that she has her own room and privacy from her younger sister once it starts. Plus no judge in their right mind will give us custody if they are sharing a bed when they stay with us. That being said, I do believe our intentions are good for wanting the house. However, if we don't have a fridge or washer and dryer, I would much rather stay in our apartment where we DO have these things. Regardless, we can't back out now as it is too late and construction has already begun. I just feel like we are being ungrateful for wanting this money but that money will pay for necessities that are required for a house. I had thought we were on the right path but with everything going so horribly wrong after going right I am now very confused on what God has planned. I feel like every time I do something right that I think God is telling me to do, it ends up going horribly wrong 2 seconds later. There are so many mixed signals and I don't know what to do. I've prayed and prayed then cried and prayed some more but still don't have any answers.
Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. I've been doing my best to keep positive and not throw a pity party and encourage my boyfriend to do the same but it is getting harder and harder to do when even I don't believe the words coming out of my mouth.