I can understand the words used to comfort someone. For example: "An aborted baby was killed against God's design. A miscarried baby fulfilled God's plans." "God's plan" is a comfort attempt given for any loved one who died.
At the same time, I can understand a woman grieving over a miscarriage finding offense in this.
Other words, I have no defense for:
"An aborted baby deserves to be grieved. A miscarried one deserves to be gotten over. And quickly."
"An aborted baby was a real person, and should have the rights as such. A miscarried baby was not a real child -- naming them really is kinda weird. Speaking of weird . . . counting them in the line-up of your children? THAT'S weird!"
I get the heart of her message, the frustration she feels by the "comfort" given her after 3 miscarriages.
Do you really believe life -- personhood -- begins at conception? If so, standing up against abortion is understandable. But so is treating a miscarriage as a real death of a real person.
What if you held the hand of a grieving mom who miscarried at 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 18 weeks or more?
What if you never compared the loss of a 4-weeker to a 20-weeker?
What if you never said anything that started with, "At least . . . " As in, "At least it happened early." Or, "At least you didn't get too attached." Or, "At least you have one living child. You should be thankful for them."
What if you didn't try to stifle her tears? What if you welcomed them? And matched her tears with your own?
What if you held back any trite, easy answers that promised God's will and promised easy comfort? What if you just wrapped your arms around her the way Christ would?
What if you didn't just affirm to the world that all babies are valuable -- but you also affirmed to a bereaved mom that HER baby was irreplaceable, and would forever be missed?
A person is a person . . . no matter how small.
And I would add . . . no matter when or how they died.
By the way, this message strikes home to me because my Sister-in-Law had 2 miscarriages.