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#1
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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Good morning parents..

Have any of you had to deal with your child hating school?? And if so is there any advice you could give me as to what i could say to my son. He's in the 4th grade and maybe it's because he doesn't understand the work but is claiming to hate school .. He loved it last year and the yrs before that .. but i don't know if he is hearing this kind of talk from other kids and just following along..

I have talked with him about why he doesn't like it and explained the benefits of school but all he can say is "I don't care" granted when i was younger school wasn't my favorite place to be either .. but I don't recall ever having this attitude with my parents about it .

I am praying for God to guide me here.. Just was wondering if any of you had this issue and how you managed it.

#2
LOVE SONGS

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Lisa , are his grades fine or poor ?
Let him know that ....you are not only his mother but, his best friend...and that he can tell you any thing that is bothering him.
It seems his little spirit got hurt for some reason. Hope you find out why he doesn't care anymore.

sherry

#3
gdemoss

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To truly understand what is in your child's heart you must get him to talk, then you must be able to listen to 'what' he is actually saying under all the layers of 'stuff'. It is best to come to the discussion with the intent of not counselling him immediately but instead with the intent of being quick to hear.

When I talk to people, I find that the longer they can go on talking, without me interjecting counsel and trying to 'fix' their problem, the deeper they go into their hearts to pull out the issues and speak them openly. Most people will throw out 'tester' things to see if your just trying to counsel them by telling them what they don't want to hear. Letting them air out the whole thing and then taking time to pray over it and sort out the facts of the matter will help give you a genuine response.

Remember that in the multitude of counsellors is wisdom.

In Jesus Name,

Gary

#4
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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Thank you Gary..
I appreciate the reply.. My son isn't the type to just let it all out. if he doesn't wish to discuss something he will let you know. He is a slow learner and is on an I.E.P so talking to him the way i would any other 9 yr old doesn't work.he learns at a lower level so it has been a challenge for me in choosing my words carefully..

when he got up this morning the first thing he said was that he hated school and doesn't want to go anymore.. I asked him why.. he said he hates school, he said he just wants to stay home all day, go to his friends house.. etc etc.. so i just simply said " all of your friends will be at school " and his reply was " i don't care I will just go to their house" . Maybe all this is just an adjustment after a long summer.. He was off doing so much more this year with his friends and spent some time with his Dad and his other grandmother.. So .I am going to give it another week or so to let him get adjusted .. Hopefully he will settle in ..

but thanks again for the reply.. :)))

#5
LOVE SONGS

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To truly understand what is in your child's heart you must get him to talk, then you must be able to listen to 'what' he is actually saying under all the layers of 'stuff'. It is best to come to the discussion with the intent of not counselling him immediately but instead with the intent of being quick to hear.

When I talk to people, I find that the longer they can go on talking, without me interjecting counsel and trying to 'fix' their problem, the deeper they go into their hearts to pull out the issues and speak them openly. Most people will throw out 'tester' things to see if your just trying to counsel them by telling them what they don't want to hear. Letting them air out the whole thing and then taking time to pray over it and sort out the facts of the matter will help give you a genuine response.

Remember that in the multitude of counsellors is wisdom.

In Jesus Name,

Gary


I like what you wrote here Gary... makes a lot of sense .

#6
gdemoss

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Just keep him talking...it will surface. Sometimes there is a bit of embarrassment involved especially if he is special needs as kids can be cruel due to the sin that is within. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Meekness, Self Control, Gentleness, Goodness and Faith will help you to do with him as you ought so cry out to our father for a fresh filling of that Holy Spirit that the fruits be available....

Gary

#7
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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Lisa , are his grades fine or poor ?
Let him know that ....you are not only his mother but, his best friend...and that he can tell you any thing that is bothering him.
It seems his little spirit got hurt for some reason. Hope you find out why he doesn't care anymore.

sherry




His grades are low.but once he understands something he is golden.. He made alot of improvement last year...But,Like i told Gary. he is on an I.E.P. so he has like 3 teachers in his classroom.. he is learning on a lower level than most kids his age.. I have had that talk with him and told him exactly that ..but there are those moments when he just doesn't want to tell me anything until later on..

i am praying and i am believing that God is working in him and in me.. so any prayers would be much appreciated.. love ya lady :)) thank you for replying also

#8
LOVE SONGS

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I will be praying .
You are an encourager to us Lisa, and I know that you are that way.... to your child as well .

Love ya , too :) )))
sherry

#9
georgedrw81

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Maybe you should ask the teacher. It is also possible the person that used to support him changed. Something probably changed and he feels un-comfortable. Do bear in mind that he may need more time to learn the same content as other children in the classroom. Also schools at times promote a child like yours to a higher grade even though they are still at a lower level. He might not be ready for grade-4 yet. Going to the school to investigate.
Praying

#10
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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Maybe you should ask the teacher. It is also possible the person that used to support him changed. Something probably changed and he feels un-comfortable. Do bear in mind that he may need more time to learn the same content as other children in the classroom. Also schools at times promote a child like yours to a higher grade even though they are still at a lower level. He might not be ready for grade-4 yet. Going to the school to investigate.
Praying

Maybe you should ask the teacher. It is also possible the person that used to support him changed. Something probably changed and he feels un-comfortable. Do bear in mind that he may need more time to learn the same content as other children in the classroom. Also schools at times promote a child like yours to a higher grade even though they are still at a lower level. He might not be ready for grade-4 yet. Going to the school to investigate.
Praying



Yes George I know you're right. some will do that .. he just needs to have his memory refreshed and i know he is a bit taken back by the change.. But there will be conferences coming up so I will be meeting with the teachers.. This morning knock on wood has been good so far .. no mentioning hating or not wanting to go to school so .. thanking Jesus :)) and thank you for taking time to respond.. :))

#11
wingnut-

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Good morning parents..

Have any of you had to deal with your child hating school?? And if so is there any advice you could give me as to what i could say to my son. He's in the 4th grade and maybe it's because he doesn't understand the work but is claiming to hate school .. He loved it last year and the yrs before that .. but i don't know if he is hearing this kind of talk from other kids and just following along..

I have talked with him about why he doesn't like it and explained the benefits of school but all he can say is "I don't care" granted when i was younger school wasn't my favorite place to be either .. but I don't recall ever having this attitude with my parents about it .

I am praying for God to guide me here.. Just was wondering if any of you had this issue and how you managed it.


Hello Lisa, sorry I had not seen this thread until tonight. Not sure if anyone else has already contributed any thoughts I might have or not, but going to give them anyway. My daughter also got to a point where she just did not want to go to school, so I do have some experience dealing with this. One possibility is that your son is being picked on, or made fun of, this could range from the bus ride (if he rides the bus), or once he arrives at school. At that age in particular, it could be something that is happening on the playground. I would suggest perhaps talking to his teacher (or bus driver) and seeing if maybe they have noticed anything in particular, or perhaps keeping an eye out in the future. Not sure how open he would be for discussion on the matter, but you may be able to confirm this by talking with him.
It could also be in regards to difficulty with one particular subject in school that he is struggling with, but from my experience, often bullying is involved when a sudden change of attitude occurs. Kids can be cruel, so it is something to consider, hope you find the answer soon, God bless.

#12
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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Good morning parents..

Have any of you had to deal with your child hating school?? And if so is there any advice you could give me as to what i could say to my son. He's in the 4th grade and maybe it's because he doesn't understand the work but is claiming to hate school .. He loved it last year and the yrs before that .. but i don't know if he is hearing this kind of talk from other kids and just following along..

I have talked with him about why he doesn't like it and explained the benefits of school but all he can say is "I don't care" granted when i was younger school wasn't my favorite place to be either .. but I don't recall ever having this attitude with my parents about it .

I am praying for God to guide me here.. Just was wondering if any of you had this issue and how you managed it.


Hello Lisa, sorry I had not seen this thread until tonight. Not sure if anyone else has already contributed any thoughts I might have or not, but going to give them anyway. My daughter also got to a point where she just did not want to go to school, so I do have some experience dealing with this. One possibility is that your son is being picked on, or made fun of, this could range from the bus ride (if he rides the bus), or once he arrives at school. At that age in particular, it could be something that is happening on the playground. I would suggest perhaps talking to his teacher (or bus driver) and seeing if maybe they have noticed anything in particular, or perhaps keeping an eye out in the future. Not sure how open he would be for discussion on the matter, but you may be able to confirm this by talking with him.
It could also be in regards to difficulty with one particular subject in school that he is struggling with, but from my experience, often bullying is involved when a sudden change of attitude occurs. Kids can be cruel, so it is something to consider, hope you find the answer soon, God bless.


Good morning parents..

Have any of you had to deal with your child hating school?? And if so is there any advice you could give me as to what i could say to my son. He's in the 4th grade and maybe it's because he doesn't understand the work but is claiming to hate school .. He loved it last year and the yrs before that .. but i don't know if he is hearing this kind of talk from other kids and just following along..

I have talked with him about why he doesn't like it and explained the benefits of school but all he can say is "I don't care" granted when i was younger school wasn't my favorite place to be either .. but I don't recall ever having this attitude with my parents about it .

I am praying for God to guide me here.. Just was wondering if any of you had this issue and how you managed it.


Hello Lisa, sorry I had not seen this thread until tonight. Not sure if anyone else has already contributed any thoughts I might have or not, but going to give them anyway. My daughter also got to a point where she just did not want to go to school, so I do have some experience dealing with this. One possibility is that your son is being picked on, or made fun of, this could range from the bus ride (if he rides the bus), or once he arrives at school. At that age in particular, it could be something that is happening on the playground. I would suggest perhaps talking to his teacher (or bus driver) and seeing if maybe they have noticed anything in particular, or perhaps keeping an eye out in the future. Not sure how open he would be for discussion on the matter, but you may be able to confirm this by talking with him.
It could also be in regards to difficulty with one particular subject in school that he is struggling with, but from my experience, often bullying is involved when a sudden change of attitude occurs. Kids can be cruel, so it is something to consider, hope you find the answer soon, God bless.



Thank you Wing... That thought did cross my mind for last year he was getting picked on on the bus ..One of his friend's who is on his bus told me about it . I had dealt with the school on the issue and the principal was involved...
i am keeping an eye out and there will be conferences starting at some point .. But i have prayed and believe God is working. Thank you for your reply.. How are things with your daughter now??

#13
wingnut-

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She enjoys school now, although now that she is a teenager, I think that revolves mostly around the social aspect of it, and not the education part. She is getting better grades though, but it has always been a struggle to keep her motivated, the best tactic i have found is to take away her cell phone or computer until she has done her school work. Each child is different though in that regard, it comes down to finding what works best for them on an individual level as far as getting their attention.

#14
LisaMarie savedbygrace

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She enjoys school now, although now that she is a teenager, I think that revolves mostly around the social aspect of it, and not the education part. She is getting better grades though, but it has always been a struggle to keep her motivated, the best tactic i have found is to take away her cell phone or computer until she has done her school work. Each child is different though in that regard, it comes down to finding what works best for them on an individual level as far as getting their attention.

She enjoys school now, although now that she is a teenager, I think that revolves mostly around the social aspect of it, and not the education part. She is getting better grades though, but it has always been a struggle to keep her motivated, the best tactic i have found is to take away her cell phone or computer until she has done her school work. Each child is different though in that regard, it comes down to finding what works best for them on an individual level as far as getting their attention.




yes, I am finding that with my son.. he's a bit young for a cell phone but his thing is his video games.. i have already had to take them away a couple of times.. seems to get the message across :)))

#15
wingnut-

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yes, I am finding that with my son.. he's a bit young for a cell phone but his thing is his video games.. i have already had to take them away a couple of times.. seems to get the message across :)))


Yeah, boys will be boys, I know how that goes :rolleyes:

#16
coffeespiller87

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you dont have sons wing so you dont know how that goes :D

#17
GlidingWings

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I agree with Gary. Give a person enough time to talk and you will learn quite a bit what is on someone’s mind. If you say you are there listen and to not be harsh.

There could be one or more of several factors why he does not like school anymore. Naturally to most of us who went to school would rather be at home or with our friends. We as a kid don’t want some teacher telling us to do work on a paper all day. We went to school because our parents said so. We did the work because the teacher told us to do our work. And we did not like going to the principal’s office after causing trouble at school.

When I was in Elementary school I could not keep up with the whole class either. I seem to be at least a grade or 2 behind. What they had in the school was called the Learning Center. 4 of us slower kids went to this class. This enabled Mrs. Haliday to work with us more one on one with our work. When I was taught this way I did well in the learning center. But every time I ended up back in calls with all the kids I would fall behind.

Everyone does not learn the same way. That includes adults also. Some learn more by visual such as TV and films, others by listening to what they hear others at reading text books and others in class participation.

One teacher one method for over 25 or thirty kids does not work for every child. Some will succeed. Some will be left in the clouds.

Your son might not be able to keep up with the rest of the class. But don’t believe that does not make him dumb. I bet he would do better having a class like I had of just a few students having one on one help but allowing recess and Lunch to spend time with his friends. Studies have proved more kids are excelling in Home schooling. Because parents can use a real practical and personal way to teach their kids while learning school work but some parents don’t have the time or the schooling to do home schooling. I think your son may need more one on one help without distracting of how the other kids are doing. We can feel like failure when we think we don’t fit everyone standards. It is just that I learned it is best to learn at your own pace. I would ask the school or teacher if my child could be placed in special ed with other kids like him. Also if there is anyone to help your son at home with school that would be great. I think the best way to learn is doing fun learning games with numbers facts and other stuff. It keeps a child interested and wanting to learn more. Believe it or not Sesame Street and PBS children programs helped me in reading and spelling. See if your son will watch any fun education cartons or programs even another cartoon like Arthur that is not violent. Zoom is a fun way to learn science. There was a good show called reading Rainbow. You could be surprised that even Television if used in the right way we can learn a lot. Just one warning watch out for Evolution it is the one thing I fear of Public Learning stations.




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