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The Relationship

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23 replies to this topic

#1
shiloh357

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Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a long-term stable, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, the guy has to be a Labrador Retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term "relationship."

Let's say Rob is attracted to a woman named Jennifer. He asks her out to a ball game; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to a dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anyone else.

And then one evening when they are driving home, a thought occurs to Jennifer, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that , as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Jennifer, it seems like a very loud silence.

And Rob is thinking: "Wow, 6 months."

And Jennifer is thinking: "But hey, I'm not sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes, I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep on going the way we are, moving steadily forward... I mean where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level? Are we heading for marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really know this person?

And Rob is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the Dealer's which means,... Let me check the odometer... whoa! I am way overdue for an oil changer here!!"

And Jennifer is thinking... "He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I am reading this completely wrong. Many he wants more from our relationship, more commitment; maybe has has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes I bet that's it. That is why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected."

And Rob is thinking: "And I'm gonna have them look at that transmission again, too. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's like 87 degrees, out and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600."

And Jennifer is thinking: "He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty putting him through this. But I can't help the way I feel. I 'm just not sure."

And rob is thinking: "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they will say, those scumballs!!"

And Jennifer is thinking: "Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on a white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly decent person, a person who I enjoy being with, a person who I care about, a person who truly cares about me. A person who is in pain, because of my self-centered schoolgirl romantic fantasy."

And Rob is thinking: "Warranty? they want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I take their warranty and stick it in their left ear!!"

"Rob" Jennifer says aloud.

"What?" says Rob, startled.

Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never...oh I feel so...." (she breaks down sobbing)

"What?" says Rob.

I'm such a fool ." Jennifer sobs. "I mean I know there's no knight. I really know that . It's silly. There's no knight, and theres no horse."

"There's no night, no horse?" says Rob.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Jennifer asks.

"No!" says Rob, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just...it's that I... I need some more time," Jennifer says.

(There is a fifteen second pause while Rob, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally, he comes up with what thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (a befuddled pause)

"Oh Rob, do you really feel that way?" she asks.

"What way?" says Rob.

"That way about time," says Jennifer.

"Oh," says Rob. "Yes."

(Jennifer turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she speaks)

"Thank you, Rob," she says.

"Thank you," says Rob, more confused than ever.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured, soul, and weeps until dawn. Whereas, when Rob gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him something major was going on back there in the car, but his pretty sure he would never understand, and he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day, Jennifer will call one of her closest friends, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for weeks. For six straight hours, in painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said, and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Rob, while working on his car with a mutual friend of his and Jennifer's, will pause, frown, and say: "Did Jennifer ever own a horse?"

#2
the_patriot2014

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ROTFL. I so get that. . .

#3
LOVE SONGS

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I didn't .... need to re-read it , i suppose... I just a dumb-blonde. :blink:

#4
ladypeartree

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No LS ..it is just a guy way of not listening or paying attention ..ignor them they cant help being the weaker species :24:

#5
nebula

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And then one evening when they are driving home, a thought occurs to Jennifer, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that , as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Jennifer, it seems like a very loud silence.

And Rob is thinking: "Wow, 6 months."

...

And Rob is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the Dealer's which means,... Let me check the odometer... whoa! I am way overdue for an oil changer here!!"


He's not in love in her.

#6
LOVE SONGS

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And then one evening when they are driving home, a thought occurs to Jennifer, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that , as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Jennifer, it seems like a very loud silence.

And Rob is thinking: "Wow, 6 months."

...

And Rob is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the Dealer's which means,... Let me check the odometer... whoa! I am way overdue for an oil changer here!!"


He's not in love in her.

You are right he is not in love with her ... he loves his car.
Men go in a another, different , direction of thinking ...off topic.
Instead of her being the topic.. he started to think about his car. Go figure ? :wacko:

#7
sheya joie

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:24:

#8
the_patriot2014

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its not that hes not in love with her, its that, well obviously, he hasnt had his car tuned up in 6 months, and if she didnt want him thinking of that she shouldnt have reminded him of it. . . .or, added some clarifying message, like "oh honey isnt it wonderful that weve been together for 6 months" that way he knows what to think. . .

#9
Guest_ninhao_*

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It is dangerous for a woman to assume a man knows what she is thinking. :D

#10
GoldenEagle

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Lol. :thumbsup:

A wiser man than I once said something to the effect of: "Men have blue hearing aids, blue goggles, and a blue megaphone. Women have pink hearing aids, pink goggles, and a pink megaphone. We need to learn to understand what the other spouse is saying, see life through their eyes, and speak each other's language. Don't guess. Communicate."

#11
nebula

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its not that hes not in love with her, its that, well obviously, he hasnt had his car tuned up in 6 months, and if she didnt want him thinking of that she shouldnt have reminded him of it. . . .or, added some clarifying message, like "oh honey isnt it wonderful that weve been together for 6 months" that way he knows what to think. . .


No, the guy is "in like" with her.

6 months is a young relationship, and if he ever fell in love with her he would still be in the "twitterpated" stage (reference Disney's Bambi).

#12
the_patriot2014

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I think you all are way overthinking a joke, lol.

#13
LOVE SONGS

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I think you all are way overthinking a joke, lol.

:24: men don't ever admit the truth about themselves...they are always on a different page , when communicating with women.

#14
Willamina

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It is dangerous for a woman to assume a man knows what she is thinking. :D

It is even more dangerouse for a man to assume that he knows what a woman is thinking. If we thought in the same logical sequences as men it might by different. But we sort of free float in our romantic imaginations and someimes wishfully assume things not in evidence. But the next words that come out of our mouths may be as down to earth and practical as you may have assumed we were. Never assume. That last statement probably was off in the dirction of making wedding plans and not at all in any direction your assumed. So now there is no safe reply to anything.

Edited by Willamina, 22 December 2012 - 02:28 PM.


#15
the_patriot2014

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I think you all are way overthinking a joke, lol.

:24: men don't ever admit the truth about themselves...they are always on a different page , when communicating with women.


oh, I admit it. me and my wife are constantly on different pages. Its not that the man doesnt love the woman, or vise versa, its that were wired different. Men are like waffles, women are like spagetti. Everything to a man, has a box, and the box hes in, is what hes focusing on-like in this case, the guy is in his car box. to a women, their brans like spagetti-everythings connected, so for a man and a woman to have a conversation like this, doesnt mean they dont love each other, it means theyre on completly different pages.

#16
shiloh357

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And then one evening when they are driving home, a thought occurs to Jennifer, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that , as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Jennifer, it seems like a very loud silence.

And Rob is thinking: "Wow, 6 months."

...

And Rob is thinking: "So that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the Dealer's which means,... Let me check the odometer... whoa! I am way overdue for an oil changer here!!"


He's not in love in her.


That's not something you can deduce from the story. In fact, there is nothing in the story that indicates that she is in love with him. She is more disturbed that the knight on a white horse fantasy she has been carrying around with her isn't playing out the way she thought it would and now she is thrown into fear that he is feelling pressured or smothered.

What you see here is a classic lack of communication taking place. It is a humorous look at the differences between men and women in relationships.

#17
Fez

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It is a humorous look at the differences between men and women in relationships.


I just LOVE this entire thread! Can't you see that exactly what was happening in the first post is playing itself out here in the thread as well!

Ladies, we are different, we think different, we are hard wired different.

We have a place we go in our heads called our "nothing" box, and believe it or not, we can actually really, no honest, be thinking about nothing in particular.

So why get so upset when you say "what are you thinking about", and we say "nothing".

Hey we mean it.

#18
Willamina

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Thank you all, especially Golden Eagle, for my new monogram. Pretty snazzy!

My hubby of nearly 50 years and l have always communicated like our young couple. But we have learned to double check as to the
current topic and have some good laughs. Till lately. His hearing is rapidly deteriorating and he is too pig headed (his words) to get a
hearing aide. We dont sign, either and he refuses to use notes. And please, God, dont let me lose my voice again.
Those of us who have put a lot into having strong, successful marriages still have trials and a few arguements. The key is to find
the way of escape that God has promised all of us. We serve the God who delights in providing our needs and doing the impossible.
lt will be exciting to discover how He helps to endure this one or if He provides another way of escape to overcome .

Edited by Willamina, 22 December 2012 - 04:07 PM.


#19
enoob57

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Thank you all, especially Golden Eagle, for my new monogram. Pretty snazzy!

My hubby of nearly 50 years and l have always communicated like our young couple. But we have learned to double check as to the
current topic and have some good laughs. Till lately. His hearing is rapidly deteriorating and he is too pig headed (his words) to get a
hearing aide. We dont sign, either and he refuses to use notes.Posted Image And please, God, dont let me lose my voice again.
Those of us who have put a lot into having strong, successful marriages still have trials and a few arguements. The key is to find
the way of escape that God has promised all of us. We serve the God who delights in providing our needs and doing the impossible.
lt will be exciting to discover how He helps to endure this one or if He provides another way of escape to overcome .

Just say HUH all the time...

#20
leviathan12

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It is a humorous look at the differences between men and women in relationships.


I just LOVE this entire thread! Can't you see that exactly what was happening in the first post is playing itself out here in the thread as well!

Ladies, we are different, we think different, we are hard wired different.

We have a place we go in our heads called our "nothing" box, and believe it or not, we can actually really, no honest, be thinking about nothing in particular.

So why get so upset when you say "what are you thinking about", and we say "nothing".

Hey we mean it.


YES. I can sit in a chair and literally stare off into space, or at a clock or what have you, for hours, thinking about NOTHING. It's how we release energy. It's quite soothing.
Women release energy by venting and verbalizing their frustrations to each other until they feel eased. That's soothing to them.
We are just wired differently.




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