2 steps forward, 1 step back. 3 steps forward, 1 step back. 4 steps forward...
I wanted to share some progress in the last bit. It helps me type it out and to see the good.
Last June, before I relapsed. I was a solid 125lbs, went to the gym 5 nights a week, ran races and/or went snowboarding on the weekends, ate 4 healthy meals a day. I was a highly energetic, hardworking, happy person.
Several months after I relapsed (drinking), I picked up smoking again, dropped to 103lbs, lost my social life, never ate, nearly lost my job, and got into several legal issues. I have been absolutely miserable, highly stressed, and extremely angry at myself.
This month, and especially the last couple weeks, I have started to see hope again. My drinking has been scarcer and scarcer. (I am currently nearly a week). And to my surprise, I had found that I am now up to 110lbs! I am also now at 2 regular meals a day. I just had my last counseling session with the stabilization team at the hospital. I just had my annual review at work (went very well),
Anyway, this all has been a huge relief for me knowing that the worst is over and that I am getting better. I feel more motivated than ever to get to where I was before and I thought it would be cool to write it out.
Its like being trapped in a dark gravel pit for months, then you start to see a little bit of sunshine shining through the dirt