Hi, I wanted to post this in the prayer requests section, but as a newbie I found that I'm not able to post there, so here it is.
This is long but I would appreciate anyone who reads and prays, as its a longtime ongoing situation which has affected many and I can't stand it anymore.
There are these two guys who are absolutely deluded in thinking God has chosen either of them for me as my life partner. They are always posting prayer requests online, calling me their gf, wife, fiancee, even a divorced woman or a single mother (I'm NONE of these things). They attach all sorts of untrue disorders to my name, even say horrendous things like that I was sexually abused or that I'm with an abusive guy (all untrue). They wanna bring me down to their level.
They daily beg Christians on prayer sites for God to fix me up with them, writing lies about me and even my future spouse. It makes my blood boil. For all I know they might even be on this site, spreading their false stories here. These losers and their lies negatively affect my walk with God. The anger their actions cause also interferes with my prayer life. On numerous occasions, it has led to disastrous events and heartache for both me and others during times when I was to be spiritually focused and pray.
These two are supposedly Christians, but for the last 12 years or more (even after becoming saved) they have continually told lies, and massive ones at that. Several years ago, one even lied to me through their sibling that he had died, in order to see my reaction. If not God, for that very reason alone I could've despised the pack of them for life, let alone like them! They have told many other such similar huge lies in the past, yet I still gave them a number of chances as brothers/friends, purely out of sisterly affection (which I no longer have), and then 'cause of our God-given spiritual connection (which I want to break), and then simply for God.
The only reason I haven't entirely broken off connection w/ them till recently was, first, God placing them under my spiritual care (reaching out to them before they were saved), then second, He gave them as spiritual brothers in my life. But instead of thanking God for this mercy alone (the kindness I was willing to show and forgiveness I was willing to give), they actually have the nerve to presume they can be my future husband. I have told them over and over that they're not - even if it were naturally my own choice I would never pick them.
On top of that, God has already revealed His choice for me, and spoken clearly a number of times, the most recent time being the most clearest for me. While He had spoken to me regarding my future spouse in the past, I had not been entirely sure due to something I couldn't accept between us. But a few weeks ago, He made it even clearer for me whom He has chosen for me (which is NEITHER of the idiots). Now I know it 100%.
However, not only do the two losers not respect my preference or even GOD'S WILL, they think they can beg their way into anything and any relationship they want. They want God to FORCE me to love them, regardless of how they say otherwise (that is basically the case, since it is impossible for me to like them and I have communicated this to them a dozens of times). They think they have some sort of special claims on me. I say: By what right?!
They think this simply 'cause I once lavished all my attention and affection (much of it was confused w/ sympathy, apart from God's love) on them, almost a decade ago. And this as a Christian sister more than anything. That was 'cause God put it in my heart to reach out to them spiritually (just as He did for me w/ many others), and I was trying to help them. I did go overboard in doing this, but it was largely due to the lies they told. They took on someone else's identity. They were virtually always pretending to die the next day. They had so many, many tragedies in their life. As someone who cared for their spiritual welfare and lives, and with my passion for reaching the lost and helping lost teens, of course I would easily be led astray into excessive feelings and actions. I would never have had those if they had been truthful. So whatever the feelings I temporarily once had and their exact nature, the source of them wasn't right. Most of all, if I had known back then what shameless liars and complete fools they are, of course I wouldn't have wanted them even as friends.
Apart from God, I would hate their guts for life. Furthermore, after declaring I'd break all ties w/ them (due to some other lies and juvenile behaviour of theirs), I have never given them ANY signs of encouragement or hope for the last 7 years or so. I did nothing to mislead them. We haven't even had much contact (they not once contacted me on their own; I did 'cause God led me to, at times, mostly for spiritual reasons). Yet all along they have built on their hope of winning my love and obtaining me. It's unbelievably pathetic and sick. After all the destruction their lies and immature behaviour caused in my life and other ppl related, they have the AUDACITY to think I can like, even love, them. This is what I can't stand the most of all.
As Christians they continually tell lies, never repent (if they truly did, they wouldn't tell lies), tell more lies, make up stories which are insulting to me (and my future husband by association), and when I get rightly angry, they think I'm overreacting. They think I'm in the wrong, not them. So many Christians pray for them, believing the lies in their daily prayer requests and other posts online. They post these like everywhere! After telling them off countless times, I gave up and tried ignoring them (which was hard knowing what they do behind my back). But they did this even in the places I go to (where I discovered many years ago and was going to first) and kept on doing this disgusting thing even in my sight! Knowing at times that I was reading, and at other times that I could be. That's another reason I totally dislike them. They refuse to grant me even my smallest request or respect even my smallest wish. Yet claim to "love" me. It's disgusting.
They're like, in a sense: "I don't care about your feelings, wishes, or even thoughts of me. I only care about my own. Whether you like and want it or not, I want what I think I must have. So regardless of anything else, I'm gonna beg God till He gives you to me. If necessary, I must be happy at the cost of your unhappiness. But I assure you, despite all this, I totally love you and am in love with you" ! Hell will freeze over before I like either of the them in my life. Esp. w/ one of them, I'd rather take a bullet to my brain. They're the dumbest jerks I've ever met. I truly wish them gone from my life, but unfortunately God has given these stupid guys as spiritual brothers (which is the ONLY kind of relationship He's meant for us). This is such a pain. They are such a pain, that I wish for God to remove.
Please pray God would teach them a lesson. They totally need it. They refuse to see how their deceitful words and actions are ruining their own lives and have caused much ruin in others' (incl. mine). They refuse to take responsibility by confessing and speaking the truth and trying to make amends. At the very least, not lying anymore. They continue with their unacceptable behaviour, yet hope and ask for many blessings from God (!). Not even just little but asks for MUCH. Apparently, any Bible teaching they've had is lost on them. They clearly dont know that regardless of how much they ask, God won't bless them when they're asking out of selfishness, greed, disobedience, and great sin in their life. I'd call it a big sin which leads to real death for others (ppl in and out of my life, incl. an old friend), and so much suffering and heartache for myself and others related. Moreover, which continually arouses anger in me, putting a stumbling block in my path and creates disturbance in my life. Though lying isn't their only sin.
I've explained this spiritual truth to them, but as with anything else I say which is not to their liking - they won't listen. They only wanna hear what they wanna hear. They're such stubborn stupid pigs (- I've never said this to anyone else in my life). They need to know that God takes their sins seriously. That God means business, and that He won't let them get away with this always. In fact, He's not even now, with nothing going right for esp. one of them. They continue to live in sin, esp. with the sin of lying (not just sometimes like others - as Christians, these guys do all the time!) yet expect God to help and bless. And when He doesnt, when things continually get tough, they're apt to blame Him. Esp. one of the them. He does nothing but beg God. Then when God doesn't improve his situation and grants his desires, he rages instead of recognising that his problems are due to his and others' disobedience. He fails to see these as signs of God's displeasure, and that any possibly help God withholds from him (as at this time) is due to his completely wrong spiritual state.
They dont even know me yet believe themselve to be in love w/ me. I've explained this to them also. If they knew me, they'd realise that I'd not in a life of a thousand years span would like somebody that hindered me in prayer and so kept me from praying for my friend at a crucial time, which resulted in her suicide (which could have been prevented. God had indicated I pray, but I was in such turmoil and grief, I didn't fully realise this till afterwards). Even if their actions played a large part in unintentionally allowing her death, through the effects of their lies on me - the lies were intentional. And they have not owned up to it to this day. Even after hearing this recently, they still refused to come clean and own their lies. They refuse to give me the truth surrounding the issues and events that had troubled me so, thus leading to failure in prayer and my friend's death. That is just one example of all the harm they caused in my life. Even IF there had been no other reason, this reason ALONE would be enough for me to never be able to accept them as "more than a friend" in this life. As I said, even if it were my choice, apart from God's will, I wouldn't.
If not for God, I wouldn't have wanted to accept them even as a friend (which I don't, now), after their continual infuriating behaviour. Yet it isn't just one reason; there's like a hundred reasons why I dislike them. Instead of admitting their wrongs and taking their part of the responsibility, just as I have before God and others, they tried to dump the whole thing on me by accusing me of accusing them. They even labelled me with psychological problems, mental disorders and spiritual issues. They added even more to their lies.
For so many reasons, esp. several very strong ones, I don't and don't want to and can't and won't ever like these lying pair in my life. The thought of them as a future spouse is a laugh. They know about the endless anger they've caused me (which affects even my physical health), that they've caused nothing but HARM in my life, yet they dare hope to remain in it and be beside me for life. To cause whose death?!
Im so glad, am so so relieved, that God hasnt chosen either of them as my future spouse (despite them hoping and endlessing begging). Or else, I would've wanted to die and would've chosen to become a nun. I would even take my life, if not for hell. If they knew me, they would've given up long before, even before I revealed about my future spouse. Which I did, specially, for their own sake, when I hadn't told neone else - to save them many hours of waste in uselessly begging God (besides another reason of past truths I wanted from them). Much as I loathed them and have many reasons to, I did not want them to waste their life the same way they made me waste mine by lying, and making me pray for things that didnt need prayer at all. Cause it was made up.
So I made the exception of telling them, yet they only used this knowledge to insult not only me (as if that's not bad enuf) but also my future spouse too, now, by refusing to acknowledge any possibility of him being God's choice for me. When he IS. And saying unbelievably outrageous things like that my future spouse stole me from them and he ruined my life, etc (NOT true. They dont even know who he is!), when it's THEM who ruined my life.
If not for their lies, I wouldn't have made the choices I did, some of which, esp. one of which, led to a great mistake on my future spouse's part and resulted in so much heartache for us these few years. Due to the two liars, we've had an obstacle b/ween us these last few years, esp. 'cause of my idealistic nature. Despite my feelings, it was hard for me to accept him. We went through so much pain 'cause of it. All the pain we went through is largely because of these liars. For THIS reason alone, also, I could hate their guts. And I currently do - since they keep deliberately doing wrong despite knowing how it vexes me.
Instead of feeling any rightful shame, they merely rejoice in anything that comes between me and my future spouse. They want me miserable so they can be happy. THEY make me miserable yet they insist on being in my life - and even that not just as a brother or friend but MORE, thus the conclusion. I dont want them even as a brother or friend. They are completely unworthy. They're nothing like a brother. To me, they've been anything but. They're spiritual brothers in name only. It isn't the fact that they dont know me and so, in truth, not loving me that's the matter. I DONT want them to know me and even love me for real. Thank goodness they don't. But they don't believe it themselves.
Even apart from God's choice for me, there are several other guys (special brothers) in my life all of whom I'd much prefer to the deceitful pair. THEY, on the other hand, know me and love me as friends (some more) for real. They bring me joy and are my greatest comfort in life, after God. They listen, respect my wishes, and treat me as a sister from God. They are ten times more decent, ten times more honest, ten times more loyal, ten times more spiritually learned and are much closer to my ideals than the liars. The liars, on the contrary, not to mention being far, far from it, don't even know my high ideals. If they knew me, they would know that this is another reason that on its own cancels any possibility of their wish coming true. That is how much they dont know me.
They dont know my dreams, my likes and dislikes (they should know it's them), my secret joys and suffering, my troubles, what I value and I love, my good and bad memories, my entire past, my truer personality and character, and my spiritual ability most of all. If they knew the last, they would have accepted my word on the spot, that God has revealed His will to me. Which I have checked with him more than once, and which He has confirmed several times already. On top of insulting me in all other things, incl my relationship with my future spouse, they disbelieve and so insult my spiritual relationship with God also.
My good brothers, on the other hand, know all those things about me. They also accept my spiritual authority over them, given by God, as a sister in Christ. They (some of them) are willing to sacrifice for me - instead of hoping that I will make sacrifices for them, unlike some loser who hopes and prays for God to make the girl he (supposedly) likes fall for him and "be willing to make sacrifices for him". Probably hoping she'd want to give up riches and live in rags for him, and suffer not only mentally and emotionally from just "being w/ him" (emphasised cause the very thought of it disgusts even as an ideal) but also physically and financially due to hardship. What irresponsible and despicable thinking, not to mention way of speaking. Ive never heard a more disgusting thing in my life. YOU pray to be able to sacrifice for the one you love, not the other way around! This would be ANOTHER reason enough on its own for me to never accept such a low thinking jerk as anything more in my life. Did I say a hundred reasons? Make that a bazillion.
My brothers were and are willing to make sacrifices for me, one even giving up something he loved doing. The idiotic liars, however, were not even willing to do something as simple as telling me the truth about the past (which relates to MY past). 'Cause of what it costs them. Simply this: embarrassment on their part and possible loss of my favour. Well, they totally lost it just by holding back from me the truth that's unquestionably important to me. They lost my favour by trying to save it. They can't make even that one small sacrifice, yet hope for me to make huge ones for them. It would be the sacrifice of my LIFE, if I had to accept one of them as a spouse.
These guys are so completely muddled, perverse and shameless. May God have mercy on me and keep these idiots far from my life for the rest of my life. I have been put thru so much suffering 'cause of them and their atrocious lies. Please, pray.
(Esp. pray that no more people, related to me or not, would suffer disasters in their lives as a consequence of these two's lies and actions and my reaction to them, i.e. being knocked down spiritually and failing to pray.) .