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Eleven Commandments of Dysfunctional Families

- - - - - Dysfunctional Families

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#1
GoldenEagle

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Read this today... Thought we'd discuss this if anyone is interested. Let's start with the first 3 "commandments" this discussion...

 

 

 

The First Commandment:
Thou shalt reinterpret reality to preserve the perfect fantasy.


Even if you see it, it's not real. You must have made a mistake. Therefore, reinterpret what you saw to make it nice and respectable. If you don't, people will think you're and we're all crazy. We wouldn't want them to think that now, would we?

The Second Commandment:
Thou shalt always send mixed messages, especially when it concerns relationships...


You don't really know what's true. Either your father loves you or he hates you. Since you never know for sure, you'll never be quite sure if others really mean what they say since those you loved most only spoke in mixed messages. They sounded good, but you couldn't trust them.

The Third Commandment:
Thou shalt be an adult.


Being child-like and spontaneous is irresponsible and bad. You must act like an adult at all times and be responsible, even if you're only five years old.

Source

 

2 Questions:

A. Have you experienced these first 3?

B. What is the opposite of these?

God bless,

GE



#2
the_patriot2014

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The Third Commandment:
Thou shalt be an adult.

 

 

This is one that I've never had a problem with, you can ask my wife! (I think she would actually prefer I follow it)



#3
AFlameOfFire

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Number 2, is that somewhat like someone who SAYS, "I love you"? but what they DO (which is quite the opposite of what they say) is what keeps thundering in your ears the loudest?

I know that sort of thing. After all someone can even SAY (in word) "I love GOD" (even write a nice Hallmark card about their love for God verses you) but in reality, if they love not their brother (or you) they would be a liar (in their deeds) correct?

Anyone can love "in tongue" I suppose, though John speaks of not loving in word nor in tongue but in deed and in truth.

It seems you can measure the truth of anothers love for you (or the evidence of the love of God dwelling in them) by their actions toward you more so then their words. For example John speaks of us seeing a brother or sister in need, and how someone could follow up with that whole, "peace be warm and filled" (just words) yet while you have it in your possession to help that brother and show compassion (in deeds) towards them, but you shut up your bowels of compassion and do nothing, whereas John raises the question concerning the sincerity of ones love for God in that lack of doing.

If that's what your sort of asking, Im not sure. Because I have heard "I love you" many times before myself, but that didn't mean I believed it. Are there folks who really believe when others tell them, "I love you" (that they believe they actually do?)

Am I missing this maybe? I could be, I am rather dense

#4
AFlameOfFire

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Is this for natural families or spiritual families? lol

#5
GoldenEagle

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The Third Commandment:
Thou shalt be an adult.

 

 

This is one that I've never had a problem with, you can ask my wife! (I think she would actually prefer I follow it)

 

Lol. I think this speaks more to the idea that kids can't be kids. That teenagers aren't allowed to be teenagers. Everyone is supposed to act like an adult, have the maturity of an adult, and have the feelings of an adult.

 

God bless,

GE



#6
GoldenEagle

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Number 2, is that somewhat like someone who SAYS, "I love you"? but what they DO (which is quite the opposite of what they say) is what keeps thundering in your ears the loudest?

I know that sort of thing. After all someone can even SAY (in word) "I love GOD" (even write a nice Hallmark card about their love for God verses you) but in reality, if they love not their brother (or you) they would be a liar (in their deeds) correct?

Anyone can love "in tongue" I suppose, though John speaks of not loving in word nor in tongue but in deed and in truth.

It seems you can measure the truth of anothers love for you (or the evidence of the love of God dwelling in them) by their actions toward you more so then their words. For example John speaks of us seeing a brother or sister in need, and how someone could follow up with that whole, "peace be warm and filled" (just words) yet while you have it in your possession to help that brother and show compassion (in deeds) towards them, but you shut up your bowels of compassion and do nothing, whereas John raises the question concerning the sincerity of ones love for God in that lack of doing.

If that's what your sort of asking, Im not sure. Because I have heard "I love you" many times before myself, but that didn't mean I believed it. Are there folks who really believe when others tell them, "I love you" (that they believe they actually do?)

Am I missing this maybe? I could be, I am rather dense

 

Yes, I can see where that might be confusing. It's like saying one thing and doing another.
 

Here's the full #2...

 

 

The Second Commandment:
Thou shalt always send mixed messages, especially when it concerns relationships..

 

Sample Situation: A dominating father tells his child, "I love you. Now beat it and leave me alone."

 

Application: You don't really know what's true. Either your father loves you or he hates you. Since you never know for sure, you'll never be quite sure if others really mean what they say since those you loved most only spoke in mixed messages. They sounded good, but you couldn't trust them.

 

Motto: Avoid people and relationships. It's the safe thing to do.



#7
GoldenEagle

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Is this for natural families or spiritual families? lol

Not sure what you mean by natural or spiritual families?

These are dysfunctional (defined as: characterized by a breakdown of normal or beneficial relationships between members of the group) families... Families that don't know how to communicate well and aren't living in a Christ-like manner.

 

Does that make sense?

 

God bless,

GE



#8
AFlameOfFire

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Is this for natural families or spiritual families? lol

Not sure what you mean by natural or spiritual families?

These are dysfunctional (defined as: characterized by a breakdown of normal or beneficial relationships between members of the group) families... Families that don't know how to communicate well and aren't living in a Christ-like manner.
 
Does that make sense?
 
God bless,
GE


Sometimes you cant tell the difference between your earthly families (or the one you were raised by) and their disfunction and the one you might believe you are adopted into (or the household of God).

Only because not all know how to communicate well or do as Christ tells them. So sending mixed messages just seem to come in both households.

Which might be why Paul speaks of watching thyself and the doctrine (in a twofold sense) for by the same not only would you save yourself but others that hear you. If not, just do as they say (not as they do) which would be Jesus' remedy of the problem (or contradiction)

When we our off in ourselves (in contrast to what we speak) then I can understand why we could cause others confusion. But come to think about it, even when we say and do not, we really aren't sending mixed signals but very loud and clear ones.

I missed that actually. It shouldn't cause confusion but bring clarity.

God bless you too GE

#9
bopeep1909

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1) I have not seen anything that seemed supernatural that no one else has seen.I am sure it could happen but it might be quite rare.If a person sees this they could either keep it to themself or take a picture of it if they want others to believe it.The opposite of that is someone believing anything anyone says or believing what they say they have seen.I am not that trusting.

2)Is the father living?Has the person ever known or seen the father?Never trust what another person says unless you trust that person and you know they are a very honest and a reputable person.If the father is alive ask him what he thinks of you.The opposite would be to trust everything any one says.I find that to be a risky thing to do.

3)Being childlike and spontaneous is not bad.It is fun.I think as adults we have our times we need to be responsible mature adults.Their is a time and place for everything.We need to know the appropriate timing to play and have fun and to be a serious adult.

The opposite of that is someone who does not want to let their hair down and is always takes things too seriously.






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