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In need of some dating-ish advice?

* * * * * 1 votes Young Christians Dating Friends Advice

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7 replies to this topic

#1
Followerof1

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I need some advice I am a (male) Christian teenager, and I have a really close, dear friend, who is a female.  We spend a lot of time together and know each other really well, BUT both of us are totally against dating!  Even so, everybody believes that we are, consequently freaking out both of our parents.  Although we are not dating we see the possibility of it much, much later in life.  Now my question is what should I/we do to stop people from thinking that we are dating.  But it is also not as simple as that, we are close; during a ruff time of my life I tried to kill myself, she saved me and is the only one, to this day, to know of it!  Because of that we both have an immense trust and Christianly love for each other.  We meet every other week (at the coffee shop) to pray, read our Bibles, and talk.  So in recap its a mess... you may not see why stopping a rumor (and our parents from freaking out) is so important, but once a rumor starts, if not stopped, it snowballs into something ugly!  I try not to worry, however, about my reputation (what Man sees of me), but instead my character (what God knows of me), then let God handle my reputation.  I would also ask advice from our youth leaders, but they would just say that we are dating (which we are not!).  Anyways sorry for the long post, but its really been bothering me... Any good, Spirit lead, Christian advice???

P.S. We spend much more time together then that, generally week days 6-61/2 hours (mainly school), and on week ends 3-31/2 hours.  I only mentioned the coffee shop, because that's what people get tripped up on the most.

~Jayme


Edited by Followerof1, 26 February 2014 - 05:35 PM.


#2
OneLight

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Welcome Jayme.

 

Meeting every other weekend in a coffee shop to pay, study and talk is not spending a lot of time together.  Am I missing something here?

 

As for the truth, sit down and talk WITH your parents.  Ask them why they see this relationship in a light it is not in?



#3
FresnoJoe

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Welcome~!



#4
Littlelambseativy

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Welcome to Worthy! One Light took the words out of my computer!! Is there some reason you cannot talk to your parents? or is it that you do not want them to know of the attempted suicide? Trust God, pray that your parents will understand but do tell them - there is nothing worse than a mother who is worried - and boy do I know that !!



#5
desi2007

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Hello and welcome to worthy.

#6
Ashley Renee

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People will beileve what they want to beileve; what thier eyes only show them. They want to beileve that the two of you are dating because, in thier limited view, a male and female can not solely remain friends. It's the sad state of the world we now live in. My advice to you is to let both of your parents know what is really going on between you do; that you're just very good friends who love each other as God commands. Don't be overly concerned with what those people who are spreading this rumor say; don't allow them to steal away the joy that is in your friendship.



#7
Donibm

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I need some advice I am a (male) Christian teenager, and I have a really close, dear friend, who is a female.  We spend a lot of time together and know each other really well, BUT both of us are totally against dating!  Even so, everybody believes that we are, consequently freaking out both of our parents.  Although we are not dating we see the possibility of it much, much later in life.  Now my question is what should I/we do to stop people from thinking that we are dating.  But it is also not as simple as that, we are close; during a ruff time of my life I tried to kill myself, she saved me and is the only one, to this day, to know of it!  Because of that we both have an immense trust and Christianly love for each other.  We meet every other week (at the coffee shop) to pray, read our Bibles, and talk.  So in recap its a mess... you may not see why stopping a rumor (and our parents from freaking out) is so important, but once a rumor starts, if not stopped, it snowballs into something ugly!  I try not to worry, however, about my reputation (what Man sees of me), but instead my character (what God knows of me), then let God handle my reputation.  I would also ask advice from our youth leaders, but they would just say that we are dating (which we are not!).  Anyways sorry for the long post, but its really been bothering me... Any good, Spirit lead, Christian advice???

 

~Jayme

 

Jamie,

 

You can't stop people opinions.  So, just say that you aren't.  it's really that simple.

 

Now, here is my own experience.

 

In college (so I was older than you, but much younger than what I am now), I became really close with a female.  We were always together.  Everyone thought we were a couple.  I mean, everyone.  I didn't care, but I swore that there was NO ATTRACTION between her and I.  But then one night, she was playing with a mutual friend (male) and I felt a measure of jealousy.  It was wierd.  Like, out of the blue I felt jealous.  It was at that time that I realized that I had feelings for her ... and I guess, somehow, she kinda felt the same ... and in a few months, we were boyfriend and girlfriend ... then we became engaged.  LOL

 

Let NATURE take its course.  And the truth is, sometimes external influences can influence a relationship.  if people keep saying you are ... don't be surprized if one day you actually are a pair.  lol 

 

... never know.

 

Every girlfriend I had, it just ... HAPPENED.  Wasn't looking for a partner.

 

So ... just live your lives as normal.  Hopefully, you are both born-again believers, or at least raised on strong Christian principles (we all know sex out of marriage is wrong, but we're all probably guilty of it), so, even if you go way out in left field, find your way back to center, which is in Jesus Christ.  I'm a grown man now.  My puppy love days are OVER.  lol  My marriage was rocky - really rocky.  Like, breaking off the edge of the cliff and falling into the ocean kinda rocky.  But then I met someone names Jesus.  Six years later, I'm still trucking, happily married.  Yeah, I know the word "marriage" may make you wanna gag right now.  And this is all about the future.  All I'm doing is planting a seed.  God will send someone else to water it at the appointed time. God Himself causes it to grow.

 

But for now, just enjoy the friendship that you have with her.  Don't worry what people say.  That doesn't hurt you in anyway.  



#8
ncn

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Welcome Jayme.

 

Meeting every other weekend in a coffee shop to pay, study and talk is not spending a lot of time together.  Am I missing something here?

 

As for the truth, sit down and talk WITH your parents.  Ask them why they see this relationship in a light it is not in?

 

I too echo the wise words of Alan.

Welcome to worthy 






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